The Top 11 Action Movies

From AH-nold to Van Dammaging, this is the ‘definitive’ list of no holds barred, manlier than manlier, high kicking, and needless explosion-y movies (that’ll make most women roll their eyes in complete annoyance), well, until next year or something.

Now, I do not take this task (which I brought upon myself) lightly. The people must know! There is something undeniably therapeutic when watching people tear each other apart. Whether this is to avenge a death or to prevent a post-apocalyptic future from occurring, these movies more often than not require multiple viewings.

My criteria (or benchmarks) in gathering this “Ultimate List” stems from various factors: top notch action (duh!), story, style and even some one-liners. I need to also mention that a lot of these movies are in different genres as well – sci fi/action, action/drama, fantasy/action, superhero/action, etc. You get it.
 
Counting down…..

11. The Raid 2

You want elaborate martial arts sequences and bone crushing moves? Look no further. This is the ‘godfather’ of martial arts movies (I’m serious). The highly popular Indonesian movie has made waves internationally and even made way for its actors/martial artists (Iko Uwais,Yayan Ruhian) to appear in “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”, albeit briefly. I’ve included a clip from the film to entice you. I literally had to pull my jaw from the floor after witnessing these intricate, highly stylized action sequences. Get over your hesitation of subtitled movies. If you don’t, you’ll miss out on a lot of great movies, including this gem.

 

10. Lethal Weapon

“I’m too old for this sh*t” – Murtaugh (Danny Glover)

This is the best buddy cop movie ever (“Lethal Weapon 2” is a close follow up). This is the movie that would later help define what a buddy cop movie should entail – reluctant partners who form a meaningful relationship, one liners, chase scenes and explosions. Not only that, this is Mel Gibson in top form. Say what you will of the guy as of late, but when you can actually ‘act’ in an action movie, it makes it all the better. The story focuses on Riggs, a LA cop who just loses his wife. Riggs, who is now understandably volatile, is reassigned to a new partner – a family man that is near retirement – Murtaugh. Together they form a bond while also uncovering a huge drug trafficking ring led by Gary ‘freakin’ Busey.

9. The Dark Knight

“Where’s Rachel?!!” – Batman (Christian Bale)

Not only is this one of the best superhero films to date, it also features breathtaking set pieces in which the action takes place. In the movie (if by some weird circumstance you haven’t seen the film), Batman is challenged by a villain like never before, the Joker. He would rather watch the world burn and gets off by toying with people, especially Bats and Harvey Dent. He presents them with a moral dilemma to see if he can ‘corrupt them’. A fascinating tale and look into a conflicted Batman and his deeper, moral fiber. Also, let’s not forget the snatch and grab scene in Tokyo, Bats battling a bunch of guys using cell phone sonar signals, or the chase scene that ultimately lead to Bats using his bat bike.
 

8. Rambo: First Blood

“Why you gotta be pushing me?” – John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone)

When a war veteran, John Rambo (Stallone), goes looking for a friend in a small Washington town, he ends up meeting Sheriff Teasle (Brian Dennehy), who sees him as a threat to the peaceful way of life. When Teasle and his fellow officers try to take him in and clean him up, Rambo has PTSD of his time as a prisoner of war in Vietnam and unleashes his fury on the entire department. This sets up a man hunt throughout the mountains and, consequently, a one man war against Teasle and the entire police department. However, Rambo’s affliction runs deeper than anyone else really knows. Not only can Rambo fight but he can survive….anywhere. This makes him a total bada$$. Gosh, I wish I had his knife – it comes with a rope and a compass. There’s a reason there’s three sequels to this movie.
 

7. Bloodsport

“You’re Next!” – Chun Li (Bolo Yeung)

This is what made Jean Claude Van Damme, the muscles from Brussels, an international superstar. An underground fighting tournament is held in Hong Kong every year and Frank Dux (JCVD) attends to honor his shidoshi (master). Along the way, he meets a brash, goofy fellow competitor, Jackson (played by Donald Gibb) while also trying to thwart military officers (Forest Whitaker and Norman Burton) who want him for going AWOL. What makes this one of the best action movies? Van Damme. Sure, he can’t act but his athleticism and martial arts skills are of such a high caliber that he transcends as a major star. Of course, there are the varieties of different martial artists in this that include: a Thai kickboxer, a monkey style fighter, a sumo wrestler, and kung fu fighters. My favorite scene is the unorthodox training of Frank Dux (a la learning how to fight while blindfolded and that machine that enables him to do the splits) as it was integral in him defeating Chun Li (sorry, spoiler!) after a substance temporarily blinds him. Not to mention, the movie has a kick a$$ soundtrack that always gets me in the mood to work out!
 

6. Terminator 2: Judgment Day

“Come with me if you want to live.” – T800 (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

Yes, I believe this is the superior film of the film series. Even the special effects of this still resonate today. Man, liquid metal never looked so cool. Arnie is a good T-800 this go around who is sent back in time and must protect John Connor to ensure there is a resistance against the machines in the future. Things get muddled when the machines send back a more advanced robot – the T1000 (Robert Patrick). Excellent action sequences are highlighted by the one on one robot smack downs and basically whenever Arnie shoots off any large gun. A huge plus goes to Arnie as his wooden acting plays well to his T800 character. Just ignore any of the ‘Terminator’ films that came after this.
 

5. Die Hard

“Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?” – Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman)

This is one of the all-time classics. An on vacation cop, John McClane (Bruce Willis), visits his estranged wife on Christmas Eve while at her corporate party at a Japanese owned high rise. Things are fine until terrorists crash the party and take everyone hostage. Eventually, McClane realizes he’s the only one to save them. Who can forget that fight between McClane and Karl or the mere fact that he’s running around slaying the bad guys with no shoes on? This is chalk full of suspense and, yes, many one-liners. One of the best Christmas movies out there (although my personal favorite Christmas movie remains “Bad Santa”).
 

4. Face/Off

“Interception. Looks like our side’s got the ball.” – Castor Troy as Sean Archer (John Travolta)

How can I not include this movie? You’ve got a whacky Nicolas Cage and a whimsical Travolta. Yes, people complain about the implausibility of the premise – switching faces and what not (hmm… isn’t “Game of Thrones” exploring that with the Faceless God?). They are sadly missing the point here. In order to have fun with this movie, you have to overlook this and play what the notion of ‘what if’. What if my worst enemy (do people have a lot of enemies?) and myself switched bodies? The ramifications would be tremendous. That’s why this movie stands on its own.

The premise centers on an FBI agent, Sean Archer (Travolta), who goes after a global terrorist, Castor Troy (Cage), who also killed his son. As the film’s tagline would suggest, ‘in order to defeat him, I must become him’. If only I used the same M.O. with my enemies!

Moreover, initial casting of this movie was going to be Sylvester Stallone and Arnie Schwarzenegger. Can you imagine? Anyways, with Travolta and Cage we at least get stronger performances that help carry the emotional turmoil these characters go through.
 
 
 

3. Raiders of the Lost Ark

“I hate snakes, Jock!” – Indiana Jones

Renowned archeologist, Dr. Jones, is hired by the US government to obtain the Ark of the Covenant, which supposedly still holds the Ten Commandments. It just so happens that Hitler’s officers are also after the same thing. Together, with the help of his ex-flame, the two go on a globetrotting adventure while also playing a cat and mouse game with the Nazis. Filled with complex action sequences (especially that chase scene), fist fights and that famous scene where Indy shoots a man with sword skills. To me, this is my favorite character that Harrison Ford plays.
 

2. The Matrix

“Are you telling me I can dodge bullets?” – Neo (Keanu Reeves)

Forget the sequels. When you entice your audience so much and grandstand with a plethora of ideas, any attempt at answering the questions you raise will only be met with much criticism. Look, movies should ‘entice’ us to think differently, but it is when they take a firm position on anything, they throw out anyone’s preconceived notions that they had answered in their heads. Anyways, to include this movie is a no-brainer. It has everything you want. Incredible visuals, top notch fight sequences, and an original plot line that intrigues us. Neo is a lonely computer programmer/hacker that always felt like his life was ‘amiss’. This is the case until he meets the mysterious Morpheus, who informs him that he has been living in a dream world constructed by machines. On top of that, he finds out that he is the prophesized ‘one’ who will lead to resistance against the machines. The film makes us question our reality and our purpose. Large scale ideas mixed with interesting characters and action/adventure, and you have got a hit.  
 
 
 
 

1. Point Break

“Wars of religion always make me laugh because basically you’re fighting over who has the best imaginary friend.” – Johnny Utah (Keanu Reeves)

The framework for this masterpiece was actually stolen by the “The Fast and Furious” movie. An undercover FBI agent, Johnny Utah (Reeves), is tasked with investigating potential bank robbers – that also wear US presidents’ masks. As his lead hints that the robbers may also be surfers, he tries to get in good with the local surfers. This puts him into contact with the ultra-cool Bodhi Satva (Patrick Swayze). The two form a highly unique friendship, one that sees Utah changing his outlook on life and becoming an adrenaline junkie to experience his spiritual side. With that, the other dimension of this movie separates it from the pack because not only do we get excellent surfing and sky diving scenes, but there is an embedded philosophical take on how being close to injury or death is what it means to feel alive.

Outside of this, we have a bunch of awesome one-liners and a zangy Gary Busey, who plays Utah’s partner, Pappas. Think, this is the same year (1991) that Keanu Reeves starred in “Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey”. Right around this time, Reeves was being eyed for more serious roles that eventually paved the way for stardom with films like “Speed”, “The Matrix”, and “John Wick”.
 
 

So, there you have it. I’m positive I left a movie out that I’m sure someone will give me hell for. Oh, and yes, “Point Break” is my favorite action movie. It has everything that I love – action, bromance, spiritualism, adrenaline filled stunts, and one-liners.  
 

Feel like I left something out? Let me know via @popculturecrunc , @nitropetersen or feel free to drop a comment below or email us at pccbits@gmail.com.

The Revenant is a Meditation in Primal Savagery

You know when you go into a theater with a certain expectation only to be let down afterwards? Well, The Revenant exceeded my wildest expectations. This is filmmaking at a whole other level. Never has a film used so many elements effectively in order to tell a gruesome, yet satisfying revenge thriller.

The story immediately begins on a tumultuous fur trading expedition in the 1820s. Things go from bad to worse as Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) is mauled by a giant bear. As the group weighs what to do next, Fitzgerald (Tom Hardy) decides that carrying around a body in the bitter winter would put them all at risk. So, he decides to leave Glass for dead, while also killing his son, Hawk (as Glass watches helplessly). This sets up a quest not only for revenge but survival as Glass is fighting the harsh landscape while also trying to elude Pawnee and Sioux Indians.

Best Beer Pairing with The Revenant? Try Moose Drool Brown Ale by Big Sky Brewing (in Montana). As you immerse yourself in the movie’s wintry setting, there’s really nothing else like it.

If Leonardo DiCaprio doesn’t get an Oscar for his intense performance, I’ll likely stop watching the pretentious awards show altogether (that’s an empty threat). He has been nominated so many times and has yet to win. This should put him over the top. Then there’s Tom Hardy, who plays the cowardly Fitzgerald. Hardy’s voice is almost unintelligible in this, like most of his other films (see: The Dark Knight Rises, Mad Max: Fury Road) but provides a great villain with his ‘weaseling’ ways. The other notable actor in this is Domhnall Gleeson, who has been everywhere lately (see: Ex Machina, Star Wars: The Force Awakens) and doesn’t seem to be slowing down.

The script is written by Mark L. Smith and Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu based upon the 2002 novel by Michael Punke (titled The Revenant: A Novel of Revenge). Side note: you should check out Punke’s career thus far – pretty impressive.  So, just as the previews you saw, the film is based on a true story which only adds to its allure.  Strangely, there wasn’t that much dialogue but rather action. When dialogue occurs, it progresses the story. To put another way, there aren’t any unnecessary scenes.

Much credit must be given to the director, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, as his filmography is shaping up to be among the most diverse. Previously, he directed Birdman, Babel, 21 Grams, and Amores Perros. If you don’t remember last year’s Oscars, Birdman won for Best Picture along with Best Director. I wouldn’t be that surprised if he wins again for 2015. I read an article last year when Inarritu was in the middle of filming The Revenant and mentioned that he always likes to experiment with his movies. That notion seems to really be paying off. I haven’t been as engrossed in a film in a long time.

The settings of the film (Montana, Canada and Argentina) are among the most beautiful, barren landscapes ever caught on film. The settings are a character unto themselves. I know I’ve said this about other films but this should be doubly true when considering this. From the majestic mountains and unpredictable rivers to the wild animals that pervade the land, The Revenant is almost paying homage to a National Geographic film.

I almost forgot. The score of this film is intense. It was done by Ryuichi Sakamoto, who you probably aren’t familiar with. Sakamoto actually won an Oscar for Best Musical Score for The Last Emperor (1987), with his last work in Western cinema dating back to the film Snake Eyes (pre-“Not the Bees!” Nicolas Cage film) in 1998. The music perfectly lends itself the film and the physical and emotional struggle that Glass must endure.

There’s a lot of great symbology in the film as well. For instance, after the bear mauling, Glass ends up wearing the bear’s skin to continue to survive. This can be signifying how he has died and come back to life, reincarnated. After all, the film’s title is The Revenant where ‘revenant’ means ‘one that returns after death or a long absence’ (thanks Merriam Webster).

This brings me to the, ‘should I see it?’ segment of my review. A resounding YES is my answer (if you just skipped to this section!). Now, is it a date night movie? No. Is it geared more to men? Maybe. Will women hate this film? No, in fact there was a group of women that were literally on the edge of their seats throughout much of the film.

Be wary of the amount of violence (duh) in this. According to IMdB, the film has been “rated R for strong frontier combat and violence including gory images, a sexual assault, language and brief nudity”. I love me some strong frontier combat!

I want to see the movie again even though the run time is 2 hours and 36 minutes. The upside is that I will be able to conveniently take bathroom breaks!

Grade: A+

DvD/Blu-Ray Releases – November 2015

November 3^rd

Inside Out – This is a story about a girl who is guided by her emotions (that live in an imaginary place called, ‘Headquarters’) who recently moves to San Francisco. Perhaps the synopsis isn’t the best selling point but I do know that many really enjoyed this film when they saw it in theaters. I tend to wait for these family movies to be available to rent. This has a 98% approval rating at Rotten Tomatoes. The animated film stars the voices of Amy Poehler, Mindy Kaling, Bill Hader and Lewis Black.

 

Vacation – Rusty Griswald wants to do a family vacation right and make up for the Wally World vacation years earlier. Shenanigans seem to follow Rusty’s family as they make their way to America’s coolest theme park (that happens to be closing soon). I initially thought this film looked enjoyable but upon the extreme backlash it received from critics (Rotten Tomatoes: 26%), I decided to stay away. Look, I use the aggregator website to make more informed decisions so that I have a better chance of seeing a movie that I enjoy in theaters and not spend $10 a ticket. This is why I’ll likely rent this Vacation sequel. The film stars Ed Helms, Christina Applegate, Beverly D’Angelo (original Griswald), Chevy Chase (original Griswald), Chris Hemsworth, and Leslie Mann.

 

The End of the Tour – This is a drama that follows conversations between writer, David Foster Wallace (Jason Segel), and journalist, David Lipsky (Jesse Eisenberg), as they journey across the Midwest on Wallace’s book tour. This was a story Lipsky was following for Rolling Stone that was never actually published. The film is directed by James Ponsoldt (The Spectacular Now). I like both of these actors. Why not?

 

Saving Christmas – Kirk Cameron is dropping those silly Left Behind movies and doing a silly Christmas movie! The movie follows a dude named Christian (oh, come on!) that is tired of the commercialization of Christmas and proceeds to be a Scrooge until his brother in-law shows him that Jesus has always been at the center of their family traditions. Have you ever seen how Kirk Cameron celebrates his Birthday? Reason I ask is because the image below details my level of excitement for this ‘film’.

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Digging for Fire – This follows a rather bored couple as they find a gun and a bone that thrusts them into an adventure that has them following clues with ridiculous results. The clues lead the couple to come to a realization about themselves and the meaning of life. The film stars fan favorite Jake Johnson (New Girl), Rosemarie DeWitt, Brie Larson, Orlando Bloom, Sam Rockwell, and Mike Birbiglia.

 

A LEGO Brickumentary – This documentary focuses on how Legos have affected pop culture from kids to ‘master builders’. The film is narrated by Jason Bateman. This looks mildly interesting. There are now Lego movies and video games for fans to enjoy. The term ‘Lego’ is derived from a Danish phrase meaning “play well”. I never really got into Legos. What does that say about me?

 

She’s Funny that Way – Izzy (Imogen Poots) is a Broadway actress that used to be a prostitute. Her former life catches up with her when the director of the play hires her to be an escort. It doesn’t help that the director is married to the star of the play or that the writer is dating Izzy’s therapist. The comedy is directed by Peter Bogdanovich (Mask). And no, that’s not The Mask but the one with Eric Stoltz, Sam Elliot and Cher. This film also includes Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Will Forte and Kathryn Hahn. If my ‘description’ didn’t pull you in, I’m not sure what will. Pass!

 

Before We Go – As a woman attempts to get home before her husband does, she ends up missing her train and meeting a street musician who helps guide her on the way home. As they walk the streets of New York, they form a romantic bond as they share perspectives of life and love, etc. This is Chris Evans’ directorial debut in which he also stars alongside Alice Eve.

 

10,000 Days – In this TV looking movie, a comet hits Earth and wipes most everyone out but a few survivors. Twenty seven years later, the Earth plummets into a new Ice Age where a family struggles to survive. We’ve never seen one of these movies before! There aren’t any critic reviews for this film because they were all smart enough to stay away.

 

The Final Girls- This is about a group of people that are sucked into a 1980s Slasher/Horror film and must work together with the film’s camp counselors to try to survive. This actually looks pretty interesting. It at least has a half way original script. The film stars Taissa Farmiga, Malin Akerman, and Adam Devine. I wonder why they are releasing this after Halloween.

 

Tiger House – Kelly, an injured gymnast, decides to surprise visit her boyfriend but finds herself defending the house against a home invasion (I guess?). The house ends up turning into a bloody arena where Kelly must use her skills to escape. Ed Skrein (the new Transporter), Dougray Scott (the bad guy in Mission Impossible 2) and Kaya Scodelario (The Maze Runner) star. I still don’t know why this is called ‘Tiger House’ and I don’t really care to find out either.

 

November 10^th

Trainwreck – Oh, this movie. It started out so well and then took a turn into mediocrity towards the run of the mill 3^rd act. For a full review check here. Amy was taught by her father that monogamy isn’t realistic and lives her life that way until she is forced to do a sports article for her magazine employer. Her subject, Dr. Conners, ends up challenging her conventions on monogamy. The film stars Amy Schumer, Bill Hader, Brie Larson, Mike Birbiglia, Lebron James and John Cena (who was hilarious). The film wasn’t a total letdown but ended up achieving mediocrity by its end.

 

Terminator Genisys – Arnie is an aging Terminator in this attempt (again) to reboot the franchise. The idea behind this one involves the manipulation of timelines. John Connor (in the future) sends Kyle Reese to protect his mother, Sarah Connor, in 1984. An expected turn of events changes what we know of Sarah Connor. Sarah is no longer a helpless waitress but rather a skilled fighter that has a Terminator guardian by her side (Arnie). Together they must prevent a new future from happening. Blah blah….been there, done that. ‘Genisys’ ended up making $100 million domestically (which is pretty terrible when considering previous installments) and another $300 million (thanks to China). The film more than made up for its budget ($155 million) so you can expect another ‘Terminator’ film sooner rather than later — because money.

 

Mr. Holmes – You can sign me up for whatever Sherlock Holmes. Ian McKellen stars as the aging, legendary detective that tries to solve a case that has eluded him and sent him into retirement. With the help of his housekeeper’s son, Sherlock will have to use his master skills despite having a failing memory. I cannot wait to see this! The film is directed by Bill Condon (Kinsey, Dreamgirls) and co-stars Laura Linney and Milo Parker.

 

Selfless – An aging billionaire (Ben Kingsley) with cancer decides to cheat death and turns to a shadowy corporation that promises him a new lease on life by transferring his consciousness to the cadaver of a young man (Ryan Reynolds). Things begin to go awry when he starts to have flashbacks of the host body that lead him to believe the cadaver was murdered. The movie seems very similar to the film Seconds by John Frankenheimer (French Connection II, The Manchurian Candidate) that starred Rock Hudson. I believe everyone just wants to see Reynolds in Deadpool at this point. It’s clear he can’t really shake the type of character that made him famous – Van Wilder. Also, what is it with Ben Kingsley just saying ‘yes’ to every film project? Anyways, the movie co-stars Matthew Goode, Michelle Dockery, Derek Luke, and Victor Garber and was directed by Tarsem Singh (The Fall, Immortals).

 

Tangerine – A hooker is recently released from jail only to find out that her pimp cheated on her. She races across L.A. during Christmas to uncover the truth behind her lover’s affair. What a strange story. If you cared, the comedy/drama stars Kitana Kiki Rodriguez, Mya Taylor, and Karren Karagulian.

 

Pay the Ghost- Nicolas Cage is at it again in another straight to video movie! In a truly inspiring story, Mike Cole (Cage) loses his son during a Halloween parade and must team up with his estranged wife to locate their child. Both of them soon come to realize that their son’s disappearance is due to a vengeful ghost. Time is ticking as they must rescue their son from the spirit world. The movie is directed by Uli Edel (The Little Vampire).

 

November 17^th

The Man from UNCLE – This seems to be one of those films that didn’t look the best based upon their previews but hit well with critics (for the most part). This is based off the 1964 TV series and forces CIA agent, Solo (Henry Cavill), to work with KGB agent, Kurakin (Armie Hammer), to work together during the height of the Cold War to stop an international crime organization bent on using nuclear weapons to destabilize power worldwide. The film is directed by Guy Ritchie (Snatch, Sherlock Holmes) and co-stars Alicia Vikander, Hugh Grant and Jared Harris.

 

We Are Your Friends – In this ‘film’ Zac Efron stars as Cole, an aspiring DJ that is trying to make a name for himself in Hollywood. He is taken under the wing of an older DJ named James so that he can have his first break. Things get complicated when Cole falls for James’ girlfriend and he must choose between his potential big career or love. This movie made no friends with critics or audiences. It holds a 42% on Rotten Tomatoes and made a dismal $3.5 million at the box office worldwide. It may be a beautiful disaster but not one I’d waste my time with, at least not until my options are limited or someone kidnaps me trying to torture my eyes and brain.

 

The Stanford Prison Experiment- I believe this experiment is examined/discussed in most Psychology courses now right? The experiment was controversial as it raises interesting questions about human behavior and morality. The study was to examine the psychological effects of becoming a prisoner or prison guard. Willing participants signed up for their roles in the experiments but never knew that they fall into a psychological trap where they would really feel that they were in the positions they pretended they were in. Example: Guards were abusing the prisoners and many prisoners accepted psychological abuse. Even Zimbardo, the scientist behind the experiment, was affected by his role as ‘superintendent’. Controversial for sure but not sure what a movie would do for entertainment. The film has an 85% on Rotten Tomatoes. I bet the ‘awe’ factor is simply taken away as people like me know the outcome of the infamous experiment. The film stars Billy Crudup, Ezra Miller, Michael Angarano, and Tye Sheridan.

 

Jimmy’s Hall – This movie follows a dude named Jimmy who was exiled from Ireland for ten years and decides to come back and start a dance hall. However, not everyone is happy about it, including the priest. Meanwhile, everyone in the town seems to be in good spirits again with the dance hall. Sounds like a Footloose rip off to me!

 

Trash – This movie is trash! I couldn’t help myself. Actually, this film is about two trash diving guys that seem to have struck gold when they realize a misplaced wallet gets a whole group of people up in arms. The film boosts an impressive cast that includes Rooney Mara, Martin Sheen and Wagner Moura (Narcos). The film is directed by Stephen Daldry (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, The Hours, The Reader). This might be worth of checking out if you’re a fan of intriguing dramas.

 

November 24^th

No Escape – A family moves to Southern Asia but things get crazy when there is a political coup with new leaders looking to eradicate all foreigners from the country. Owen Wilson (in a dramatic role), Pierce Brosnan (he’s still got it!) and Lake Bell star. The director, John Erick Dowdle, did that Quarantine movie in 2008.

 

Ricki and the Flash – In this box office disappointment, Meryl Streep plays an aging rock star named Ricki that is informed that her daughter is going through a messy divorce. Ricki later comes to a realization that she missed out on her children’s lives while trying to chase stardom. Kevin Kline, Sebastian Stan and Rick Springfield co-star. You may wanna use your time watching something else.

 

Shaun the Sheep Movie – This family adventure follows a sheep (Shaun) that doesn’t always go with his flock. Shaun takes the day off and causes havoc on a farm which ends up leading the rest of the flock to the Big City to find the farmer that left his post due to Shaun’s antics. The film is highly praised (believe it or not) with a 99% score on Rotten Tomatoes. This is obviously animated but does have me curious how there would be a live action adaptation.

 

American Ultra – In a really creative premise, this follows a stoner, Mike (Jesse Eisenberg), who is about to propose to his girlfriend, Phoebe (Kristen Stewart), but then begins having panic attacks and is later revealed to be a highly trained sleeper agent that the government wants to get rid of. Mike and Phoebe end up learning further truths while trying to escape the many killers after them. The movie co-stars Topher Grace, Tony Hale, John Leguizamo, Walter Goggins, and Bill Pullman. The action/comedy/drama is on my radar.

 

The Badger Game – In this crime/drama, Alex and Jane are two mistresses that try to blackmail a rich adulterer, Liam, but things don’t go as planned when it is revealed that their bargaining chip is worthless – Liam doesn’t care that his wife knows of his affairs. In a battle of wills, the mistresses must come up with a new plan.

 

Underdogs – This animated film centers on a talented foosball player, Amadeo, who loves foosball and even beats the town bully, Flash. Everything seems right in the world until a few years later when Flash becomes the world’s best soccer player with plans to destroy Amadeo’s village with a new sports stadium. The film is directed by Juan Jose Campanella (The Secret in Their Eyes).

August 2015 Movie Releases (DvD & Blu-Ray)

August 4^th

Insurgent – The movie cousin to The Hunger Games has a sequel. Based upon the YA(young adult) novel, this sequel focuses on the war between four factions (Amity, Abnegation, Erudite, and Dauntless). Tris is one of the divergents (having all 4 characteristics) as she helps lead the way in a fight for peace or something like that. Starring: Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Kate Winslet and the god awful Jai Courtney.

Do You Believe? – A religious movie about how a pastor influences another pastor to be more pastorly. Starring: Mira Sorvino, Sean Astin (Rudy), and Cybill Shepherd.

True Story – This is that James Franco and Jonah Hill movie that was based on a true story. It focuses on the relationship between a writer, Finkel (Hill) and a murderer, Longo (Franco), taking upon Finkel’s identity. Finkel was a writer for the New York Times Magazine and was actually fired for fabricating parts of a news story in 2002.

Child 44 – Tom Hardy plays a Russian Intelligence agent (in the Joseph Stalin era) who takes on a case involving multiple murders of children. Leo Demidov’s (Hardy) case leads to high authorities in the Russian government. Based upon the first in a trilogy of novels by Tom Rob Smith, the story follows Demidov’s exploits. Starring: Tom Hardy, Noomi Rapace (Prometheus), Gary Oldman (The Dark Knight, The Professional), Joel Kinnaman (The Killing, upcoming Suicide Squad), Jason Clarke (Dawn of the Planet of the Apes), Vincent Cassel (Trance), and Charles Dance (Game of Thrones, The Golden Child).An incredible cast doesn’t always spell box office success. Still, I am likely to rent this.

A Little Chaos – A movie about competitive garden designers that are tasked to create a one of a kind water fountain on the grounds of le chateau de Versailles. I’m not making this up. Starring: Kate Winslet (The Reader), Alan Rickman (Harry Potter), Stanley Tucci(Transformers 4: Age of Extinction), and Matthias Schoenaerts (Bullhead).

Adult Beginners – A drama about a businessman (Nick Kroll) that loses it all but while staying with his sister (Rose Byrne) learns valuable life lessons. Starring: Nick Kroll (The League), Rose Byrne (X-Men: First Class), Bobby Cannavale (Ant-Man), Joel McHale (Ted) and Jason Mantzoukas (The Dictator, The League).

The Salvation – Mads Mikkelsen stars as a vengeful settler in the American West circa 1870s after the murder of his family. After killing the man responsible, the leader of their gang also seeks revenge. Looks like a decent flick. Starring: Mads Mikkelsen (Casino Royale, Hannibal), Eva Green (Casino Royale), and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Watchmen).

Barely Lethal – This movie follows a 16 year old teenager assassin after she fakes her own death and enrolls in a suburban high school. She quickly learns that school clicks and popularity come at a price. Starring: Jessica Alba (Sin City), Sophie Turner (Game of Thrones), and Samuel L. Jackson (every movie). Yawn!

Madame Bovary – A drama focusing on an adulterous wife as she tries to escape her boring lifestyle. Starring: Mia Wasikowska (In Treatment, Alice in Wonderland), Ezra Miller (Trainwreck, upcoming Flash), Paul Giamatti (Sideways) and Rhys Ifans (The Amazing Spider-Man).

Jackie & Ryan – Katherine Heigl still manages to headline movies, although this one looks straight to video. The story involves two musicians as they find themselves in love. Starring Katherine Heigl, Ben Barnes and Clea DuVall.

 

August 11^th

Hot Pursuit – All of the previews for this mess looked like a rip off of The Heat with Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. This is a ‘female buddy’ film that has a conservative cop (Reese Witherspoon) and the wife of a drug dealer (Sofia Vergara) that must team up against a drug cartel. If Sofia’s blabbering accent on Modern Family isn’t enough for you, then check this out!

Unfriended – A high school girl that killed herself due to a cruel prank now communicates via Skype in video group chats! Okay, it sounds lame but at least it’s a different way for the genre of horror to reach another generation of kids.

Robot Overlords – Humans are slaves to a race of robots that conquered the world. People are confined to their homes and must wear implants. I’m not sure how this escaped me as it stars Ben Kingsley (Ghandi, Tut) and Gillian Anderson (X-Files). I may watch if the SyFy Channel picks it up.

 

August 18^th

Little Boy – A seven year old boy ventures off to bring his father back home from the World War II. The boy’s innocence incites those embedded in the war. Starring Emily Watson, Kevin James (you read that right), Michael Rapaport, Tom Wilkinson and Ali Landry (that hot Dorito’s commercial girl).

Lambert & Stamp – This documentary chronicles the journey of aspiring filmmakers, Christopher Stamp and Kit Lambert, as they try to produce a movie during the 1960’s underground music scene. The doc also features footage with famous people related to The Who, Richard Barnes, Roger Daltry, and Pete Townshend.

5 to 7 – This is a romantic comedy that follows a woman who writes about falling in love. Things get crazy when the person she is in love with is the French diplomat’s wife! Gasp! Caged Heat sounds better.

Strangerland – A family moves to the Australian outback when a dust storm results in the loss of their children. A search party forms to find the missing children amidst rumors and suspicion. Spooky! Starring: Nicole Kidman (Fur), Joseph Fiennes (Voldemort’s brother) and Hugo Weaving (The Matrix, Lord of the Rings).

The Riot Club – In this thriller, two freshman join an infamous club at Oxford. One day, all of the spoiled, rich students get in over their heads. Based upon the play, Posh.  The movie,Skulls, is probably much better than this but that ain’t saying much!

Vendetta – Remember Dean Cain? Well, if you haven’t went out of your way to research where he’s been, you’d still only remember him for playing Superman in the TV series, Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. Mr. Cain has been playing in direct to video movies for quite some time. In this movie, he plays a cop who must get revenge after his wife is murdered by The Big Show (Paul Wight or WWE fame). This looks like hung-over viewing.

 

August 25^th

Aloha – An all-star cast surrounds this box office disappointment. Brian Gilcrest is a US weapons consultant that becomes disgraced, then later talks to a robot and then eventually heads to Hawaii to oversee the launch of a spy satellite. He must also get permission for the launch from the Hawaiian council as part of his assignment. Directed by fan-favorite Cameron Crowe (Almost Famous, Jerry Maguire) and starring: Bradley Cooper, Emma, Stone, Rachel McAdams, John Krasinski, Danny McBride, Alec Baldwin, and Bill Murray.

Citizenfour – This riveting looking documentary showcases how filmmaker, Laura Poitras (who focuses on gov’t surveillance of private citizens post 9/11) receives an encrypted email by “citizenfour” who claims to have inside knowledge of covert surveillance by intelligence agencies. “Citizenfour” ends up being Edward Snowden. The documentary focuses on key interviews with Snowden and Julian Assange. Looks very interesting.

Where Hope Grows – Holy 1980s! This movie stars Danica McKellar (The Wonder Years) and William Zabka (bad guy from The Karate Kid). The story focuses on a former professional baseball player who retires because of panic attacks. He eventually develops a relationship with a store clerk who has Downs Syndrome. His perspective on life changes and hope is learned…blah…blah…blah….I’ll pass.

Two Days, One Night – Marion Cotillard (Inception, La Vie en Rose) stars in this drama about how working class people who may have been disenfranchised from society. Sandra (Cotillard) tries to return to her job after an episode of depression only to find that her employer no longer needs her. She learns her fate is to be decided by her fellow employees in a vote.

Big Game – A teenager finds the President of the United States in a pod while hunting. Together they must make it through the woods alive as terrorists close in. Starring: Samuel L. Jackson (every movie) and Onni Tommila.

Skin Trade – Dolph Lundgren stars as a detective out for revenge after his family was slain by the mob. The mob is eventually connected to a human trafficking ring and Dolph must work with Tony Jaa (Ong Bak, The Defender), a Thai detective, to destroy them once and for all. Hung-over viewing.

Justice League: Gods and Monsters – Set in an alternate universe, DC’s trinity (Wonder Woman, Batman and Superman) find themselves framed for a bombing. DC’s main guns all have different origin stories and must decide whether they want to save the world or conquer it. Voice actors: Benjamin Bratt, Michael C. Hall, Tamara Taylor, Jason Isaacs and C. Thomas Howell. It’s a comic book animated movie! Count me in.

Lila & Eve – A drama/thriller surrounding a mother, Lila, who loses her son in a drive by shooting.  Lila eventually meets Eve, another mother who lost her daughter the same night. Together they go after the criminals responsible. Starring: Viola Davis and Jennifer Lopez. Lifetime should starting making theatrical releases.

October Gale – This follows a doctor who tries to assist an injured man on an island from a man that is hunting him. Starring Patricia Clarkson, Scott Speedman, and Tim Roth.

The Runner – Nicolas Cage is back again as a once idealistic politician that must re-examine his life after a sex scandal destroys his career. Not to be confused with a good movie, this stars Nicolas Cage, Sarah Paulson (12 Years a Slave), Peter Fonda (Easy Rider) and Connie Nielsen (Gladiator). Will Nic Cage ever make a comeback from box office obscurity?

There’s Nic Cage in a Superman Uniform Test Footage

Once upon a time, in a dimension that borders our own reality, a movie was conceived. It was a Superman movie so insane that even though it was never actually made, almost 20 years later, people are still talking about it to this day. I’m speaking, of course about the Nicolas Cage Superman movie directed by Tim Burton, called Superman Lives.

Since it’s been written about so extensively already, I’ll simply direct you to a couple of links for first-timers or for those who need to refresh their memory: an overview at Wikipedia and a discussion about one of the Superman Lives scripts at io9.

Now, Meredith Woerner of the LA Times has obtained a sneak peek at an upcoming documentary about the Superman Lives abomination, called The Death of Superman Lives: What Happened?. That documentary comes out July 9th. In the sneak peek, we “get to” see a goofy Nic Cage moving and stretching in a Superman uniform prototype. It’s as hideous as your worst dreams.

The video’s been making the rounds over the weekend, and I apologize for having to send you to the LA Times site since I can’t embed it, but I couldn’t in good conscience withhold it from you any longer. Just make sure a sink is nearby to thoroughly rinse your eyes.

The video is here, at this link: The LA Times

 

The Best Body Swap Movies

Because there’s so many movies to choose from! Whenever a person or personality inhibits a different body or takes over a body (multiple personalities), whether through magic or science fiction elements, then I considered it a body swap. So, if I were to do the Best Body Swap TV shows, Quantum Leap would make the list.

8 . The Hot Chick (2002)

How can anyone forget Rob Schneider’s box office smash? This even starred Rachel McAdams before her role in Mean Girls catapulted her to A-list status. Schneider plays a sleazy criminal and McAdams a girly girl who switch bodies. This is mostly terrible minus a couple scenes but it is the best Rob Schneider movie in which he headlines. The only person that shines in this is Anna Farris as the best friend. Tia and Tamera Mowry (from the Disney show) co-star in the movie.

7. The Change-Up (2011)

Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman star in this yawn fest. Reynolds began his downward career spiral (that’s a thing) right around this time. He was used to churning out stuff that was creatively uninspired and lazy. The story finds an attorney/family man (Bateman) who switches bodies with his best friend (Reynolds), who’s an ‘adult video’ star. Wait, how did these guys become best friends?!

6. Like Father Like Son (1987)

Dudley Moore and the Rapture obsessed Kirk Cameron (those damn Left Behind movies) star as father and son and end up swapping bodies by ingesting South American potion. Mostly cringe worthy, darker than expected and actually showcases how talented Cameron could really be. Dudley Moore mostly embarrasses himself with this pretty forgettable 80s movie that made the rerun section on HBO….in the mid-1990s.

5. Vice Versa (1988)

Same concept as Like Father Like Son but a lot better, mostly due to Fred Savage’s performance, especially once he becomes his father, played by Judge Reinhold. This time around, they swap bodies by wishing while holding a Buddha statue!

4. Source Code (2011)

Jake Gylenhaal plays a soldier who gets his mind transferred to another individual on a train who is about to die. He must find a bomber in 8 minutes before he and everyone else blows up. The cool thing is that he continues to live out the 8 minutes over and over until he succeeds. It’s kind of like Groundhog Day meets The Thirteenth Floor. I definitely recommend it for any sci-fi fan.

3. Freaky Friday (2003)

A remake which defined Lindsay Lohan’s career has her swapping bodies with her mom, played by Jamie Lee Curtis. The feuding mother/daughter team ends up switching due to a fortune cookie. Comedy ensues!

2. Fight Club (1999)

“The things you own end up owning you.” – Tyler Durden

Yes, this counts! Multiple personalities! An insomniac office drone tries to find a way to change his life and ends up meeting the ‘out there’ Tyler Durden. They rationalize existence and end up creating an underground fight club. Things begin to get weird and the insomniac later comes to find out that he and Tyler Durden are the same person. This was one of the most controversial films of 1999 and even though it wasn’t a box office success, it ended up being very popular on dvd and developed a large cult following. Great trailer above!

1. Face/Off (1997)

“I want his face……off!!!!” – Sean Archer as Castor Troy (Nicolas Cage as John Travolta)

I know what you might say, “hey, it’s not a body swap”! Well, yes, it actually is. In the movie, they not only swap faces but also get surgeries to look exactly like one another. The director, John Woo, made his debut in America with Van Damme’s Hard Target but things went totally bonkers when he made this movie. Full of one-liners, unexplained coincidences, overacting, great action scenes and believe it or not improvisation. Oh yeah! Let’s not forget the doves! They’re in every Woo movie (Hard Target, Mission Impossible 2, Broken Arrow, Face/Off). The premise follows an FBI agent named Sean Archer(John Travolta) who is out to catch a global terrorist, Castor Troy (Nicolas Cage), that also accidentally killed his son (he was trying to murder Travolta instead). The story is highly unlikely and quickly explained with ridiculous ‘science’ techniques that would never work (referring to the face swap operation). This is Nicolas Cage’s Cageish of all his roles. Even though the story is ridiculous, it is straight up fun. You can’t help but laugh at the sheer amount of crazy action as Travolta and Cage light up the screen. I was recently listening to a podcast reviewing this movie and they pointed out the creepiness of the ‘face waterfall’ that is used by Sean Archer as a sign of affection. Why is John Travolta obsessed with touching faces? The 2015 Oscars anyone?! Oh, I must also mention that the ‘I want his face off’ scene was improvised! God! Even this trailer is the best!

Honorable Mentions

Mulholland Drive (2001)

David Lynch’s controversial masterpiece chronicles an amnesiac woman and a Hollywood hopeful as they search for clues after a fateful car accident. The notions of perception in terms of dreams and reality are examined. The movie did not make the list as it wasn’t an outright ‘body swap’ movie but rather an ambiguous psychological thriller. David Lynch refuses to speak about the films meaning or symbolism and some have gone on record stating that Lynch likes people interpreting this movie a variety of ways.

Primal Fear (1996)

Edward Norton, in his first role, gets Oscar nominated in this movie about how an altar boy murdered his sexually abusive priest. Though the movie deals with an accused murderer suffering from multiple personality disorder, it is later revealed that it was all an act.