Cinematic Showdown: “Tango and Cash” vs. “Death Warrant”

This edition pits two movies that largely take place in prisons! We have “Tango and Cash”(1989), a movie that teamed Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell, and “Death Warrant”(1990), a movie that helped solidify Jean Claude Van Damme as an international action superstar. Other similarity is the fact that these are straight up action movies. It’s one-liners and high flying kicks in this showdown!

 

Round 1 – Story

As outlandish as both of these films are, you can’t help but admire that they are fun to watch. After all, the greatest thing about movies is the idea that it offers an escape. From that standpoint, both of these films succeed. The plot is almost always plain vanilla with action movies and that’s alright! Give me the one-liners and ‘splosions! However, there must be a victor in this round.

“Tango and Cash”

Well, my gun is bigger than yours!

 

Captain Schroeder: If you really wanted to stare death in the eye, you shoulda gotten married.

Ray Tango: [laughs] Is that a proposal?

Two prominent cops in California are known for ceasing tons of drugs from reaching the streets. One of them is Lietenant Ray Tango (Stallone) from Beverly Hills, an uptight cop who also plays the stock market and Gabriel Cash (Russell) from Downtown L.A., who plays it loose and could really care less about how he’s perceived by the public. Of course, both Tango and Cash are set up for murder and end up being transferred to a maximum-security prison (which is where many of the criminals Cash and Tango put away in the past). As you can imagine, many of the criminals have it out for the former cops and make elaborate deals with the prison guards so that they can have their way with them. Cash remains determined to get out and works with Tango to do just that. Together, they go after the people that were instrumental in them being set up and, ultimately, the drug dealer (s)  – Yves Perret (Jack Palance), Quan (James Hong – he’s Lopan in “Big Trouble Little China”) and Lopez (Marc Alaimo).  Oh, and Teri Hatcher plays Tango’s sister/Cash’s love interest. Double oh, and Kurt Russell dresses up as a woman in this (it was meant to be ‘cheeky’ but just comes off really bizarre when re-watching).

 

“Death Warrant”

Van Damme flexing….again.

Christian ‘The Sandman’ Naylor: Bring me a dream Burke, bring me a dream.

After his partner was killed, Canadian Detective Burke (ah, so that explains the accent Van Damme) goes after the man responsible, Christian Naylor (aka ‘the Sandman’ –played by Patrick Kilpatrick). After barely surviving himself, Burke was able to subdue Sandman by shooting him several times (but not killing him). A year or so passes and Burke is on a different assignment in California– to go undercover at a prison for the unexplained deaths that are occurring there. Trying to investigate on the ‘outside’ is Beckett, who is also posing as Burke’s wife. This ‘posed’ marriage turns into something more as Burke and Beckett turn up the heat! Anyways, eventually Beckett finds that the deaths are to be blamed on the State Attorney General (George Dickerson). The mysterious killings were actually for organs to be sold to the most desperate bidder (for the highest price!). Not just that, the State Attorney General even finds time to transfer the Sandman to the Californian prison in order to kill Burke. This is what sets up the final showdown between the two men again. Of course, the Sandman gets Van Dammaged.

Who has the edge? Oddly “Death Warrant”. Although the acting was subpar, the more complex storyline wins out here. Characters are written so as to appear more believable and help bring the grittiness of prison life to the forefront. Also, this was David S. Goyer’s first screenplay that was bought by a major movie studio. To those not in the know, Goyer went on to write “The Dark Knight” trilogy, the “Blade” series, “Man of Steel”, etc.

 

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Round 2 – Performances

“Tango and Cash”

Kurt Russell in drag.

Gabriel Cash: I don’t know about you, but I have an aversion to getting F.U.B.A.R…

Ray Tango: What’s F.U.B.A.R.?

Gabriel Cash: F*cked-Up Beyond All Recognition.

 

Even outside of the fun banter that is had between Stallone and Russell, there are a lot of really great supporting actors as well that include Geoffrey Lewis (“Double Impact”) as Captain Schroeder, Michael J. Pollard (“Bonnie and Clyde”) as tech guru Owen, Michael Jeter (“The Green Mile”, “Jurassic Park III”) as Skinner (the audio expert) and Clint Howard (“Apollo 13”, brother of Ron Howard) as Slinky. And look, this movie (although it had production problems) is a lot of fun because of the performances. The story puts our main characters in dire situations but you always know that they’d find a way to triumph while slinging one-liners all over the place. I cannot see this movie working without Russell and Stallone reveling in their dialogue.

 

“Death Warrant”

Sandman playing with Van Damme….BIG mistake!

Shouldn’t Van Damme lose in every ‘acting’ category? He may have the charm but he’s not fooling anyone. His kicks do the talking! Well, thankfully he has enough supporting actors that are good enough to help him ‘blend’ in with the rest of em’. He’s supported by the likes of actors Robert Guillaume (Rafiki in “Lion King”) and Abdul Salaam El Razzac (“Terminator 2: Judgment Day”) as two of Van Damme’s prison friends. You may also recognize Joshua John Miller as the computer hacker. He’s that creepy looking guy that always seems to play a tormented spaz/d*ckhole in all of his other roles – “Near Dark” and “Teen Witch”. 

Who has the edge? “Tango and Cash” simply has more memorable characters that standout. Plus, who can say no to Stallone and Russell talking sh*t to each other?

 

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Round 3 – Money Talks

“Tango and Cash” (source: Box Office Mojo)

Domestic Gross: $63.4 million

Budget: $55 million

Profit: $8.4 million

 

“Death Warrant” (source: Box Office Mojo)

Domestic Gross: $16.5

Budget: $6 million

Profit: 10.5 million

 

Who has the edge? “Death Warrant” is more profitable but that doesn’t mean it was seen by more people. Just looking at the numbers, about 5 times as many people went to see “Tango and Cash”. From that perspective, it is highly likely that “Tango and Cash” did a lot more business once you account for VHS sales. Since we are only accounting for box office and profit resulting when factoring in the film’s budget, “Death Warrant” wins out here.

 

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Round 4 – Rotten Tomatoes

“Tango and Cash” – Audience Score: 52%

“Death Warrant” – Audience Score: 35%

Note: Since these films are older, there wasn’t any ‘critic’ consensus.

Who has the edge? “Tango and Cash”

 

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Round 5 – Legacy

“Tango and Cash”

Headline is in the newspaper! It’s got to be real!

Gabriel Cash: You don’t know anything about electricity, do you?

Ray Tango: No.

Gabriel Cash: As long as you’re only touching one wire and you’re not touching the ground, you don’t get electrocuted.

[Thinks about it for a moment]

Gabriel Cash: Um, right?

Ray Tango: I don’t know.

Gabriel Cash: I don’t either.

Are one-liners (well, successful ones) the key to a film’s legacy? You bet! Well, they are one of the keys! This has a bunch of them. Not just that but it is a man’s action movie. It wasn’t courting to any other demographic at all and that’s why it shines. That strange, synth induced music by Harold Faltermeyer also helps this stand out. Not just that, I wouldn’t mind re-watching this movie. It’s fun to watch and can easily serve as something to play in the background with friends over.

 

“Death Warrant”

Van Damme flexing…again…after a super kick.

Christian ‘The Sandman’ Naylor: Welcome to Hell! 

Chalk this up to something you’d watch when you can’t fall asleep or during your Sunday Morning Hangover ritual. Van Damme plays a bad ass as he tries to weed out criminal activity within a large population of criminals. Not just that, he’s gotta put up with everyone’s violent nature and survive. Also, I gotta say, the Sandman is a cool villain but he’s so gosh darn one-dimensional that when you think about it, you might say “huh, well, he just really wants to kill Van Damme and remind him that he can’t be killed while doing it”. I’m getting sidetracked. Perhaps I’m fonder of the fight scenes than everything else that was in this more serious film.

I know why these ‘types’ of movies went away – movies kept getting bigger and bigger and when studios have a lot of money involved they want to make sure they get the most ‘bang’ for their buck. You can also add that the ‘PC Police’ will shame you if something comes across even subliminally offensive. I seriously would not mind an action movie in the vein of the late 1980s/early 1990s. No, “The Expendables” doesn’t count. Stallone is tapping only into what stars made those movies great and not the kinds of movies that were back then.

Who has the edge? “Tango and Cash”. Why? Read above!

 

Overall Win: “Tango and Cash”  

Ray Tango: Rambo? Rambo’s a p*ssy. 

 

“Death Warrant” gets FUBAR’d!!! 

 

 

Cinematic Showdown: Martin Scorsese films vs. Ridley Scott films

I know that I usually do a movie versus a movie but felt compelled to pit Scorsese against Sir Ridley Scott (he’s a knight ya know!). Both of these directors are highly accomplished and each is more known for their contributions to some of the best films of all time. Scott really made his mark with Alien (1979) and Scorsese with Mean Streets (1973) and Taxi Driver (1976). Both are now into their late careers and still turning out great films – The Martian (2015) by Scott and The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) by Scorsese.

The benchmark this go around involves the following:

1. Film Diversification – How much variance does each filmmaker have with their filmography?
2. Accolades – Which director generated the most awards?
3. Box Office Success – Tallying the total box office receipts. For simplicity sake, we will be viewing domestic box office while negating the film’s budget. Also, the numbers will not be adjusted for inflation.
4. Critical Success – What was the critic consensus like for their films?
5. Pop Cultural Impact – This is the most subjective category but I will attempt to argue a filmmakers influence over others and the impact they’ve had in other mediums.

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1. Film Diversification

Ridley Scott is obviously taken by sci/fi and fantasy stories and Scorsese crime dramas. However, how much did each seem to deviate from these genres?

 

Let’s take Martin Scorsese first. He’s known by many for raw, exciting dramas that have organized crime involved to some degree. This is ever true when you consider films such as The Departed, Goodfellas, Casino, and Gangs of New York. He does deviate from what he is mainly known for. Take for example the films, The Aviator (one of the many Scorsese/DiCaprio collaborations), Shutter Island, Kundun, The Color of Money, and Hugo. Each of these shows that Scorsese can handle different subject matter and still be highly effective. He tackles the thriller with Shutter Island, the biographical drama in The Aviator and Kundun, the poolsharking drama The Color of Money, and the family drama in Hugo (his ode to the history of film and its vital importance).

Ridley Scott doesn’t just do films involving aliens now. He’s done a lot of great films (and some stinkers as well). What should first come to mind is Blade Runner followed by Gladiator, Legend, Thelma & Louise, and Black Hawk Down. When Ridley Scott….sorry, Sir Ridley Scott is really on, he knocks it out of the park. Others unworthy of note include: Hannibal, American Gangster, Robin Hood, and G.I. Jane. However, this category isn’t which films are better but rather which are more diverse. It seems that Scott isn’t necessarily limited to a particular genre either.  Many may argue that his strongest suit is the genre of sci-fi and they’d be right but you can’t ignore his other contributions.

Who has the edge? Scorsese. There simply seems to be more of an attempt from the Raging Bull director to branch out of the highly popular genre associated with his name and challenge himself in other arenas. Note:  Scorsese has done four crime dramas: Goodfellas, The Departed, Gangs of New York, and Casino. Scott has done four sci-fi films: Alien, Prometheus, Blade Runner and The Martian (with another sequel to the Alien series titled Alien: Covenant coming out in 2016).

“When you love someone, you’ve gotta trust them. There’s no other way. You’ve got to give them the key to everything that’s yours. Otherwise, what’s the point? And for a while, I believed that’s the kind of love I had.” – Sam “Ace” Rothstein (Casino)

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2. Accolades  

We need to narrow down our consideration include the Oscars, BAFTAs, The Director’s Guild of America Awards and the Golden Globes. Note: Both have Best Picture Oscars.

Martin Scorsese (can you believe he’s only 5’ 4”?!) (Keep in mind that he was also nominated tons of times. For a list of all of his awards, check here.

Oscars – Best Director (The Departed), Best Picture (The Departed)

The Directors Guild of America – Best Director (The Departed), Lifetime Achievement Award 

Golden Globes – Best Director (Hugo), Best Director (The Departed), Best Director (The Aviator), Cecil B DeMille Award

BAFTAs – Academy Fellowship, Best Director (Goodfellas), Best Screenplay (Goodfellas), Best Film (Goodfellas), Best Film (Goodfellas)

Sir Ridley Scott (he was knighted in 2003)

Oscars – Best Picture (Gladiator)

BAFTAs – Michael Balcon Award

The Director’s Guild of America –

Golden Globes –

 

Who has the edge? No brainer here. Scorsese takes the cake again. It’s surprising that Scott hasn’t won more awards. I thought at least he’d come close to Scorsese.

“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I’ve watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those … moments will be lost in time, like tears…in rain. Time to die.” – Roy Batty (Blade Runner)

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3. Box Office Success

Ridley Scott

The total box office for Scott’s feature films is $1,556,001,958. That’s a good chunk of change.

In tallying up the domestic grosses for all of Scott’s films, I utilized Wikipedia which gives a list at all of the money generated from his films (check here).

Martin Scorsese  

On that other hand, Scorsese has also had a very successful run at the box office. His stats (listed via Wikipedia here), are pretty overwhelming.

The total take in for Scorsese (not adjusting for inflation) is $2,120,100,000. That’s a big step up from Scott but note that his first film was in 1977 whereas Scorsese began in 1967. Theoretically, Scott could still catch up.

Who has the edge? Scorsese. Pretty cut and dry here. However, with a sequel to Prometheus (to be directed by Scott) coming out soon, the gap should get smaller.

“As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster. To me, being a gangster was better than being President of the United States. Even before I first wandered into the cabstand for an after-school job, I knew I wanted to be a part of them. It was there that I knew that I belonged. To me, it meant being somebody in a neighborhood that was full of nobodies. They weren’t like anybody else. I mean, they did whatever they wanted. They double-parked in front of a hydrant and nobody ever gave them a ticket. In the summer when they played cards all night, nobody ever called the cops.” – Henry Hill (Goodfellas)

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4. Critical Success    

 

Martin Scorsese

The average rating Scorsese receives on Rotten Tomatoes is 83%.

Sir Ridley Scott

The Alien director has an average film rating on Rotten Tomatoes of 61.72%.

Keep in mind that when calculating these numbers, I used Rotten Tomatoes. Being that the aggregator website was only launched in 1998, the actual number of reviews per older movie will be less (in total).

Who has the edge? Scorsese. Scott just can’t catch a break. Scott’s films are very polarizing, at least critically.

“In space no one can hear you scream” – tagline from Alien

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5. Pop Cultural Impact

Ridley Scott

Once Alien took hold in Hollywood, it influenced a bevy of directors and became a box office force with its sequels and prequel (I’m not counting the Alien vs. Predator movies). You couple this with the transcendent film, Blade Runner, and Scott has become known as a thoughtful, visionary director that has a unique take on all of his films, including more recently with Gladiator, Prometheus, and The Martian (forget The Counselor, Body of Lies). Even my personal favorite, Legend, is a cult hit in its own right. Who can forget Tim Curry’s Darkness against Tom Cruise’s Jack in the 1986 fantasy film? More than Scott’s brilliant use of visuals to tell a story, it is his contribution to cinema with Blade Runner that catapults him into another stratosphere. Although the film wasn’t a particular smash hit when it came out in 1982, it has since garnered a giant following with even a sequel in the works with Ryan Gosling starring alongside Harrison Ford. Concepts of love, existence and morality come into play beautifully. Perhaps the reason the film wasn’t a giant success from the get-go was because it was ahead of its time.

 

Martin Scorsese

Just as Scott pushes films that attempt to challenge us in a way, Scorsese is more focused on how people are affected through the gravitas of their situations.  Let’s say he’s more character driven. Just think about it and all of the awards he’s garnered, including all of the awards his actors/actresses have received. You want to tell a more heartfelt, complex character story? Look no further than Scorsese. Just take the great Raging Bull film or the tense drama Taxi Driver. He’s attached to what makes people tick.

 

Who has the edge? Scott. You cannot deny the influence both of these directors have had already (and they’re still kicking it today!). The reason for Scott in this case is because he seems to have more influence on the masses and not ‘the academy’ per say. Scott’s passion for big ideas does not go unnoticed. He is not only a visionary talent but will likely be placed in the philosophical conversation (thanks Blade Runner). Look, the ‘academy’ understandably loves Scorsese’s films but should probably be more open to films that focus on broader ideas and the sci-fi genre all together.

Overall Win? Martin Scorsese. You have to hand it to the director. With his box office draw, excellent storytelling, and diverse filmography, he remains one of the best directors working in Hollywood.

“You talking to me?” – Travis Bickle (Taxi Driver)

 

 

Cinematic Showdown : The Mighty Ducks vs. The Sandlot

The early 90s were great for kid-centric films. We got the animated Disney movies, Home Alone, Radio Flyer, Toy Story, Babe, Blank Check, and Dunston Checks In. There are also other sports kid’s films with: The Rookie of the Year, Little Big League, Little Giants, and Angels in the Outfield. The two most prominent of this era are likely to be The Mighty Ducks (1992) and The Sandlot (1993). Both of these have a special place in a lot of peoples’ hearts. Thus, the reason for this edition of Cinematic Showdown!

Emilio Estevez (Charlie Sheen’s bro for those not in the know) plays a reluctant lawyer who must coach a goofy youth hockey team. Gordon Bombay (Estevez) is initially self-centered but begins to change his ways as his affinity for hockey is reignited, forever giving him a new purpose. Filled with supporting characters and memorable scenes, this is a classic film that spawned two sequels: D2: The Mighty Ducks and D3: The Mighty Ducks and an animated series (believe it or not).
“You’re killing me, Smalls!” – Ham Porter (The Sandlot)

Scottie Smalls moves to a new neighborhood and ends up making friends with a group of kids that play baseball at their local sandlot. Smalls and his new friends end up going on adventures that include trying to retrieve a baseball signed by Babe Ruth from a large dog known as “the Beast”. There are so many one-liners and some great music that’s indicative of the setting (San Fernando Valley, CA in the early 1960s). The film also had two, lesser known sequels: The Sandlot 2 and The Sandlot: Heading Home.
The factors this time around:
1. Story
2. Performances
3. Pop cultural significance
4. Rotten Tomatoes
5. Box Office Results (Don’t give me excuses, give me results!)

1. Story
The Mighty Ducks

A lot of the early 1990s films of the same genre have a similar formula: a personal struggle is resolved or handled through the use of sports (or teamwork). What makes this film stand out is not only Gordon Bombay’s transition as a character but also the influence he ends up having on the kids he’s coaching. He was once one of them and cost his own hockey team a championship. Hans (Joss Ackland), a family friend, encourages Bombay to pursue his childhood passion and really try coaching this hockey team. It didn’t help that Bombay was once coached by the ultra-competitive Jack Reilly (played by Lane Smith). Reilly actually still coaches a successful hockey team and Bombay must rise to the occasion and beat his former coach at the game of hockey. Bombay is addressing his inner demons from a traumatic ordeal. Sure, this was all on the nose but what sports comedy drama isn’t?

The Sandlot
Everyone can identify with wanting to fit in, especially when you move into a new area trying to make friends. It doesn’t help that Smalls has a strict stepdad (played by Denis Leary) that keeps a ton of sport memorabilia, including the Babe Ruth signed baseball (as mentioned earlier). Smalls ends up meeting Benny, Ham, Squints, Yeah-Yeah and the gang. Their summers are filled with sports, chewing tobacco while on an amusement park ride, and risking their lives for a signed baseball. What was important is how we all cherish these moments of our childhood and how they go on to shape us in the future.

Who has the edge? The Mighty Ducks. There is simply more tension involved and more fleshed out characters. There’s even interesting subplots like family friend Hans and Charlie, a hockey player that reminds Bombay of his earlier self. Bombay must face his fear and overcome an event whereas the boys in the sandlot have fun and deal with ‘the Beast’.

2. Performances
The Mighty Ducks
Whenever I think of Emilio Estevez I tend to think of this film and Men at Work (a ridiculous comedy about two garbage men involved in a kidnap/homicide – it costars Charlie Sheen). Yes, the ‘Ducks’ are what Emilio will likely be most famous for (and The Breakfast Club) but come on, you gotta see Men at Work. It may suck now actually as I haven’t seen it in 10 years or so. Anyways, with the addition of Joss Ackland (bad guy in Lethal Weapon 2, dude in The Hunt for Red October) and a young, impressionable Joshua Jackson (Dawson’s Creek, The Fringe), this is actually a pretty top notch cast that delivers. Just look at where all the other supporting actors are at now.

The Sandlot
There are a lot of standout performances in this gem – every one of them distinct characters. From the dorky, unsure of himself (Smalls), the talented leader (Benny “the Jet”), to the mouthy catcher (Ham Porter), there’s much to like. This is essentially the charm of the film. The characters are relatable and certainly not bland. Perhaps the most underrated is the film’s titular character, Smalls (played by Tom Guiry), who has to play a shy kid trying to fit in. He is the core of the film and without a convincing enough performance, the rest of the film would fall on the way side. Let’s also not forget that Denis Leary is in this.

Trivia: Check out Brandon Quintin Adams. That’s a name you’re likely unfamiliar with but if you check his filmography he was in ‘Sandlot’ and The Mighty Ducks (as well as The People Under the Stairs).

You can also add Mike Vitar as an actor both in The Sandlot and The Mighty Ducks.
Patrick Renna was also in a lot of lighter fare/ popular movies including: The Big Green and Son in Law.

Who has the edge? The Sandlot. The movie has more colorful, relatable characters that puts it a notch over the rag tag group of The Mighty Ducks.
3. Pop Cultural Significance
The Mighty Ducks

“Quack….quack….quack….QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!”
The flying ‘v’. Who can forget that?! I always wished that when I do actually watch hockey while at a hockey game that the team would form a ‘flying v’ a la The Mighty Ducks and take turns with the puck and then score. I still live to one day see this.
Ok, so that was pretty damn iconic. What else?! That damn chant is pretty awesome/outlandish too. Oh, and those jerseys…still great!
I should also note that over the past year or so, ‘Hollywood’ has been trying to get a 4th ‘Ducks’ film made. Matt Doherty (who played the character, Averman) was on a podcast a couple days ago and basically said, ‘things are in the works for a revival but I can’t say anymore (because I don’t know anything)’ (Source: SB Nation).
The Sandlot

Smalls: I was gonna put the ball back.
Squints: But it was signed by Babe Ruth!
Smalls: Yeah, you keep telling me that! Who is she?
Ham Porter: WHAT? WHAT?
Kenny: The sultan of swat!
Bertram: The king of crash!
Timmy: The colossus of clout!
Tommy: The colossus of clout!
All: BABE RUTH!
Ham Porter: THE GREAT BAMBINO!
Smalls: Oh my god! You mean that’s the same guy?
All: YES!
Benny Rodriguez: Smalls, Babe Ruth is the greatest baseball player that ever lived. People say he was less than a god but more than a man. You know, like Hercules or something. That ball you just aced to The Beast is worth, well, more than your whole life.
Smalls: [Falls to the ground and clutches his stomach, groaning] I don’t feel so good.
All: [Fanning Scott with their caps] Give him air, give him air.

That exchange is just priceless and just the look on Smalls’ face when he realizes that the ball that went over the fence was worth millions just as good.

More than anything, ‘Sandlot’ exemplifies that we were all awkward once and, more than anything, that we all want to find where we fit in. You top that off with a more carefree era of the 1960s setting, and you have a cult hit on your hands.

Who has the edge? The Mighty Ducks. You can’t keep the ‘Ducks’ down with their one liners, the flying ‘v’ and the teams antics. I will say that The Sandlot is very close in this category but the hockey comedy drama is simply referenced more often.

4. Rotten Tomatoes
The Mighty Ducks – 15% (out of 27 reviews)
The Sandlot – 57% (out of 44 reviews)
Who has the edge? The Sandlot (obviously). Wow. Those critics had (have) no idea what they’re talking about! Do they not know that the films are not meant to be taken so seriously?!
Note: My opinion usually ends up mirroring (to a degree) a lot of the films on Rotten Tomatoes but I just completely disagree with this!

5. Box Office Results
The Mighty Ducks
Total Domestic Gross: $50,752,337
Budget: $10 million EST
Profit: $40,752,337

The Sandlot
Total Domestic Gross: $32,434,006
Budget: $7 million EST
Profit: $25,434,006

Who has the edge? The Mighty Ducks.

Doug Butabi: So anyways, I was standing there waiting to use the pay phone.
Steve Butabi: Yeah, he was, seriously.
Doug Butabi: And this guy who was on the phone, turns around and tips his hat like this.
Steve Butabi: And who do you think that guy was?
Doug Butabi:Emilio Estevez.
Steve Butabi: The Mighty Duck man, I swear to God, I was there.
Doug Butabi: Of course you were, you were the one who yelled the Breakfast Clubber’s name.
Steve Butabi: I was like, “Emilio.”
– A Night at the Roxbury

Overall Win: The Mighty Ducks! Would you have it another way? Goooooooo Ducks! Damn the critics! The people wanted more of it and they got it with a solid sequel (D2) and a borderline TV movie in D3.

Cinematic Showdown: Independence Day vs. Armageddon

Two giant summer blockbusters make their way to this edition of Cinematic Showdown. One basically catapulted a career while saving the world and the other made us believe a rag tag group of oil drillers could prevent worldwide destruction. These movies also went on to solidify the careers of their directors. When one thinks of big action movies, there are two directors that stick out – Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich. Are you not familiar with them outside of this article’s title? Fear not!

Roland Emmerich: The Day After Tomorrow, 2012, Stargate, 10,000 BC, Universal Soldier

Michael Bay: Transformers (all of them), Bad Boys, Pearl Harbor, The Island, The Rock

Let it be known that I do not like many of these directors’ films but you cannot deny their level of talent when it comes to utter destruction, chaos, and explosions. Hell, that’s probably how they pitch all of their movies.

Check out this funny little South Park segment with Michael Bay pitching a movie:

The factors this time around are:

1. Story
2. Performances
3. Iconic/Pop Culture Significance
4. Rotten Tomatoes (a critical consensus)
5. Box Office Results

 

1. Story

Independence Day – The entire world is brought to a standstill once UFOs start springing up in major cities all over the world. As humans debate the reason for their presence, they are attacked with giant laser beams that blow up every iconic landmark in the world.

Let us not forget that it was America (Murica!) that was the first to figure out how to stop the aliens. Moreover, it was Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum who took out the mother ship with a cold (computer virus).

“Welcome to Earth!” – Will Smith as he punches alien in Independence Day

 

Armageddon –NASA comes to learn that a giant asteroid (the size of Texas –of course) is heading to wipe out humankind. NASA also comes to learn that they do not have any contingency plan to save the Earth so they recruit oil drillers. Enter blonde haired Bruce Willis and his crazy group of drillers. Together, with another group of actual astronauts, they rush through space training and then into actual space to stop a loud, unstable asteroid (BS science).

Filled with funny characters and a slightly overbearing love story, the film remains one for the books (Toddlers Who Love ‘Splosions!).

 

Who has the edge? Independence Day. There was simply a better written story with fleshed out characters and a payoff that united the entire world against those damn aliens. When Willis sacrifices himself in Armageddon, it’s to play to our affections but I have a hard time caring about a reluctant hero, who at the beginning of the film was chasing Affleck around an oil rig attempting to shoot him with a shotgun for sleeping with his daughter. Sorry, I shouldn’t have spilled the beans but the rules should be limited to five years after a movie has come out. In this case, it’s only been 17 years!

 

2. Performances

Independence Day – This film catapulted Will Smith into a box office superstar with his cool one-liners and swagger. If you think about it, Will Smith just plays the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air as an action hero. That’s not a complaint either.

“We will not go silently into the night!!” – Bill Pullman (Independence Day)

The underrated Bill Pullman pulls a pretty bada$$ president and Randy Quaid is there to be all crazy. Of course, one of my personal favorites is Jeff Goldblum, whose mere presence makes any movie better.

Armageddon – Let’s just say that most everyone hams it up in this movie. Blame the script or the ridiculous story, I don’t really care. Hell, I didn’t even notice the ‘acting’ when I first saw this pic way back in 1998 (I was in junior high to give you some perspective). Watching this now, the performances stick out in a bad way. You can also couple this with the fact that most everyone (minus Willis) went on to do better stuff – Affleck to Argo, The Town; Liv Tyler to Lord of the Rings; Billy Bob Thornton to Monster’s Ball, Bad Santa (my favorite Xmas movie); Steve Buscemi to Boardwalk Empire, and Owen Wilson to Wes Anderson movies.

Who has the edge? Independence Day. You can disagree with me but you’d be wrong. Go back and watch the movies. Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum still kill it on screen.

3. Iconic/Pop Culture Significance

Independence Day– Roland Emmerich, the director, is known for destroying landmarks. This film was one of the first in a series of films that have since become customary with the filmmaker. Just think about his movies. What’s the first thing that comes to mind when thinking about ID4? The White House being blown to smithereens. The Day After Tomorrow? The Statue of Liberty covered in ice and snow. You could also throw in the director’s White House Down as terrorists do a lot of damage there as well. So, in terms of iconography, Emmerich loves to just destroy landmarks to emphasize a sort of global stakes but to also instill a level of realism as people can easily identify these structures.

Outside of that, there are memorable scenes in Independence Day – The President’s speech, Will Smith attempting to fly an alien spacecraft, and Jeff Goldblum’s scientist not only trying to understand what the aliens are up to but also trying to get his ex-wife back.

Armageddon– I don’t know about you but the first thing that comes to mind when thinking about this film is the music. It helped define the movie while also appealing to wider audiences (instead of those that just want straight up action and no BS – is this too much to ask?!)

♪♫“Don’t wanna close my eyes. I don’t wanna fall asleep cause I’d miss you, baby. And I don’t wanna miss a thing” ♪♫ – Aerosmith (obviously)

The film is chalked up to over 2 hours of fun action and the occasional one-liners. It’s reliable cable TV fodder when you’re trying to kill the time. I mean, who wouldn’t want to watch Armageddon while waiting in the doctor’s office?

Who has the edge? Independence Day. Landmark destruction beats out a silly love song. Everyone knows that! That’s not the only reason either. ID4 emphasized unity throughout America and the world whereas Armageddon focused solely on the oil drillers. Let’s not forget that there’s a sequel to Independence Day in the works – Independence Day: Resurgence with the entire cast returning except Will Smith (he thinks he’s better than that). So, people must believe that the film is still relevant.

4. Rotten Tomatoes

Independence Day – 60% (37/54 Fresh Reviews)

Armageddon – 39% (45/115 Fresh Reviews)

Who has the edge? Independence Day. Not the best review scores but ‘Top Critics’ don’t know how to take a movie for what it is and just enjoy it.

5. Box Office Results

Independence Day

Domestic: $306,169,268
Foreign: $511,231,623
Worldwide Total: $817,400,891
Production Budget: $75,000,000
Profit: $752,400,891

Armageddon

Domestic: $201,578,182
Foreign: $352,131,606
Worldwide Total: $553,709,788
Production Budget: $140,000,000
Profit: $413,709,788
 

Who has the edge? Independence Day (again).

OVERALL WIN: Independence Day (surprise!) The movie that came out during the Fourth of July Weekend completely dominated Armageddon in every category. I thought at least it’d be a little closer than this.

 

 

August 2015 Movie Releases (DvD & Blu-Ray)

August 4^th

Insurgent – The movie cousin to The Hunger Games has a sequel. Based upon the YA(young adult) novel, this sequel focuses on the war between four factions (Amity, Abnegation, Erudite, and Dauntless). Tris is one of the divergents (having all 4 characteristics) as she helps lead the way in a fight for peace or something like that. Starring: Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Kate Winslet and the god awful Jai Courtney.

Do You Believe? – A religious movie about how a pastor influences another pastor to be more pastorly. Starring: Mira Sorvino, Sean Astin (Rudy), and Cybill Shepherd.

True Story – This is that James Franco and Jonah Hill movie that was based on a true story. It focuses on the relationship between a writer, Finkel (Hill) and a murderer, Longo (Franco), taking upon Finkel’s identity. Finkel was a writer for the New York Times Magazine and was actually fired for fabricating parts of a news story in 2002.

Child 44 – Tom Hardy plays a Russian Intelligence agent (in the Joseph Stalin era) who takes on a case involving multiple murders of children. Leo Demidov’s (Hardy) case leads to high authorities in the Russian government. Based upon the first in a trilogy of novels by Tom Rob Smith, the story follows Demidov’s exploits. Starring: Tom Hardy, Noomi Rapace (Prometheus), Gary Oldman (The Dark Knight, The Professional), Joel Kinnaman (The Killing, upcoming Suicide Squad), Jason Clarke (Dawn of the Planet of the Apes), Vincent Cassel (Trance), and Charles Dance (Game of Thrones, The Golden Child).An incredible cast doesn’t always spell box office success. Still, I am likely to rent this.

A Little Chaos – A movie about competitive garden designers that are tasked to create a one of a kind water fountain on the grounds of le chateau de Versailles. I’m not making this up. Starring: Kate Winslet (The Reader), Alan Rickman (Harry Potter), Stanley Tucci(Transformers 4: Age of Extinction), and Matthias Schoenaerts (Bullhead).

Adult Beginners – A drama about a businessman (Nick Kroll) that loses it all but while staying with his sister (Rose Byrne) learns valuable life lessons. Starring: Nick Kroll (The League), Rose Byrne (X-Men: First Class), Bobby Cannavale (Ant-Man), Joel McHale (Ted) and Jason Mantzoukas (The Dictator, The League).

The Salvation – Mads Mikkelsen stars as a vengeful settler in the American West circa 1870s after the murder of his family. After killing the man responsible, the leader of their gang also seeks revenge. Looks like a decent flick. Starring: Mads Mikkelsen (Casino Royale, Hannibal), Eva Green (Casino Royale), and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Watchmen).

Barely Lethal – This movie follows a 16 year old teenager assassin after she fakes her own death and enrolls in a suburban high school. She quickly learns that school clicks and popularity come at a price. Starring: Jessica Alba (Sin City), Sophie Turner (Game of Thrones), and Samuel L. Jackson (every movie). Yawn!

Madame Bovary – A drama focusing on an adulterous wife as she tries to escape her boring lifestyle. Starring: Mia Wasikowska (In Treatment, Alice in Wonderland), Ezra Miller (Trainwreck, upcoming Flash), Paul Giamatti (Sideways) and Rhys Ifans (The Amazing Spider-Man).

Jackie & Ryan – Katherine Heigl still manages to headline movies, although this one looks straight to video. The story involves two musicians as they find themselves in love. Starring Katherine Heigl, Ben Barnes and Clea DuVall.

 

August 11^th

Hot Pursuit – All of the previews for this mess looked like a rip off of The Heat with Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. This is a ‘female buddy’ film that has a conservative cop (Reese Witherspoon) and the wife of a drug dealer (Sofia Vergara) that must team up against a drug cartel. If Sofia’s blabbering accent on Modern Family isn’t enough for you, then check this out!

Unfriended – A high school girl that killed herself due to a cruel prank now communicates via Skype in video group chats! Okay, it sounds lame but at least it’s a different way for the genre of horror to reach another generation of kids.

Robot Overlords – Humans are slaves to a race of robots that conquered the world. People are confined to their homes and must wear implants. I’m not sure how this escaped me as it stars Ben Kingsley (Ghandi, Tut) and Gillian Anderson (X-Files). I may watch if the SyFy Channel picks it up.

 

August 18^th

Little Boy – A seven year old boy ventures off to bring his father back home from the World War II. The boy’s innocence incites those embedded in the war. Starring Emily Watson, Kevin James (you read that right), Michael Rapaport, Tom Wilkinson and Ali Landry (that hot Dorito’s commercial girl).

Lambert & Stamp – This documentary chronicles the journey of aspiring filmmakers, Christopher Stamp and Kit Lambert, as they try to produce a movie during the 1960’s underground music scene. The doc also features footage with famous people related to The Who, Richard Barnes, Roger Daltry, and Pete Townshend.

5 to 7 – This is a romantic comedy that follows a woman who writes about falling in love. Things get crazy when the person she is in love with is the French diplomat’s wife! Gasp! Caged Heat sounds better.

Strangerland – A family moves to the Australian outback when a dust storm results in the loss of their children. A search party forms to find the missing children amidst rumors and suspicion. Spooky! Starring: Nicole Kidman (Fur), Joseph Fiennes (Voldemort’s brother) and Hugo Weaving (The Matrix, Lord of the Rings).

The Riot Club – In this thriller, two freshman join an infamous club at Oxford. One day, all of the spoiled, rich students get in over their heads. Based upon the play, Posh.  The movie,Skulls, is probably much better than this but that ain’t saying much!

Vendetta – Remember Dean Cain? Well, if you haven’t went out of your way to research where he’s been, you’d still only remember him for playing Superman in the TV series, Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. Mr. Cain has been playing in direct to video movies for quite some time. In this movie, he plays a cop who must get revenge after his wife is murdered by The Big Show (Paul Wight or WWE fame). This looks like hung-over viewing.

 

August 25^th

Aloha – An all-star cast surrounds this box office disappointment. Brian Gilcrest is a US weapons consultant that becomes disgraced, then later talks to a robot and then eventually heads to Hawaii to oversee the launch of a spy satellite. He must also get permission for the launch from the Hawaiian council as part of his assignment. Directed by fan-favorite Cameron Crowe (Almost Famous, Jerry Maguire) and starring: Bradley Cooper, Emma, Stone, Rachel McAdams, John Krasinski, Danny McBride, Alec Baldwin, and Bill Murray.

Citizenfour – This riveting looking documentary showcases how filmmaker, Laura Poitras (who focuses on gov’t surveillance of private citizens post 9/11) receives an encrypted email by “citizenfour” who claims to have inside knowledge of covert surveillance by intelligence agencies. “Citizenfour” ends up being Edward Snowden. The documentary focuses on key interviews with Snowden and Julian Assange. Looks very interesting.

Where Hope Grows – Holy 1980s! This movie stars Danica McKellar (The Wonder Years) and William Zabka (bad guy from The Karate Kid). The story focuses on a former professional baseball player who retires because of panic attacks. He eventually develops a relationship with a store clerk who has Downs Syndrome. His perspective on life changes and hope is learned…blah…blah…blah….I’ll pass.

Two Days, One Night – Marion Cotillard (Inception, La Vie en Rose) stars in this drama about how working class people who may have been disenfranchised from society. Sandra (Cotillard) tries to return to her job after an episode of depression only to find that her employer no longer needs her. She learns her fate is to be decided by her fellow employees in a vote.

Big Game – A teenager finds the President of the United States in a pod while hunting. Together they must make it through the woods alive as terrorists close in. Starring: Samuel L. Jackson (every movie) and Onni Tommila.

Skin Trade – Dolph Lundgren stars as a detective out for revenge after his family was slain by the mob. The mob is eventually connected to a human trafficking ring and Dolph must work with Tony Jaa (Ong Bak, The Defender), a Thai detective, to destroy them once and for all. Hung-over viewing.

Justice League: Gods and Monsters – Set in an alternate universe, DC’s trinity (Wonder Woman, Batman and Superman) find themselves framed for a bombing. DC’s main guns all have different origin stories and must decide whether they want to save the world or conquer it. Voice actors: Benjamin Bratt, Michael C. Hall, Tamara Taylor, Jason Isaacs and C. Thomas Howell. It’s a comic book animated movie! Count me in.

Lila & Eve – A drama/thriller surrounding a mother, Lila, who loses her son in a drive by shooting.  Lila eventually meets Eve, another mother who lost her daughter the same night. Together they go after the criminals responsible. Starring: Viola Davis and Jennifer Lopez. Lifetime should starting making theatrical releases.

October Gale – This follows a doctor who tries to assist an injured man on an island from a man that is hunting him. Starring Patricia Clarkson, Scott Speedman, and Tim Roth.

The Runner – Nicolas Cage is back again as a once idealistic politician that must re-examine his life after a sex scandal destroys his career. Not to be confused with a good movie, this stars Nicolas Cage, Sarah Paulson (12 Years a Slave), Peter Fonda (Easy Rider) and Connie Nielsen (Gladiator). Will Nic Cage ever make a comeback from box office obscurity?

Cinematic Showdown: Total Recall vs. Robocop

Don’t say that I live in the movie past when this post millennial generation is subjected to the remakes/reboots that came from it! You must face the truth. Most of what surrounds us today has been regurgitated (to a high degree) on the big screen. What is even more sad is that these ‘post millennials’ will not even know that what they’re watching is, in fact, a remake.

So, that brings us to this edition of Cinematic Showdown. Both Total Recall (1990) and Robocop (1987) helped define an era of the ridiculous but also the profound. Hollywood thought it’d cash in on the popularity/originality of these movies and make reboots, both of which seemed to end up in the $5 dvd bin within a year of their theatrical releases (Robocop remake in 2014 & Total Recall in 2012). These movies are highly memorable and were both directed by Paul Verhoeven (also known for Basic Instinct and Starship Troopers).

Factors to Consider:

1. Story – how well is the story told?
2. Performances – am I buying these performances?
3. Rotten Tomatoes – a critical consensus used to measure a film’s likability.
4. Money Made (difference of budget & box office) – this is self-explanatory.
5. Cultural Significance – does the film still resonate today?

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1. Story

Total Recall (1990)

There is no simple way in describing this movie. In the year 2048, Douglas Quaid (Schwarzenegger) has mysterious dreams of Mars and a woman he has never met. This prompts him to go to a memory implant company, Rekall, to satisfy his inner desire to venture to Mars. Things go awry with the implant and the company decides to wipe Quaid’s memory of the visit and send him on his way. The story plays with the notion of reality and hallucination as Quaid tries to come to terms with who he is. After his visit to Rekall, he begins an adventure to the red planet that has him fighting with the rebels against, Cohaagen, the Governor of Mars, and to find an ancient artifact that can be the planet’s saving grace.

The film is loosely based upon the short story “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick and one of the main differences (other than the alien invasion threat) is that the movie leaves it open to the viewer to determine whether Douglas Quaid had been dreaming the whole time or that what he was experiencing was real.

Just as The Matrix made us question our reality and existence, Total Recall does the same. More than anything, it romanticizes the idea that we can potentially think something is real because we were given an implant to think so. Moreover, you wouldn’t know that you were given this memory implant which with just the thought of a company like Rekall existing would make you question your very own reality/existence.

Robocop (1987)

The setting in this film is in a future dystopian Detroit, Michigan that is riddled with crime and financial ruins. In an effort to properly staff and fund the police force, a deal was made between the mayor and a large corporation, Omni Consumer Products (OCP). The downside to this deal gives OCP the right to eradicate the poor and blighted areas of the city in exchange for a posh, high end called Delta City (which is to be managed as a city-state independent of the US).

When a cop named Alex Murphy (Peter Weller) is gunned down, he is appointed to the Robocop program, an OCP program to use cyborg technology to: serve the public trust, protect the innocent and uphold the law. This causes a rift amongst OCP as the Robocop program is being shepherded rather than an ED-209 program (strictly robotic) that is being heralded by OCP president, Dick Jones (Ronny Cox). The president wishes to use ED-209 so that he can have full control. As you might imagine, Robocop begins to turn on OCP and strives to be the hero Detroit really needs.

Robocop is essentially a satire of American culture. Take the ultra-violence, heavy drug use, corporate soullessness, and overall apathy of the Detroit citizens as key reminders. Not only does the film work as a satire it also functions as a drama in that in deals with the tragedy of losing a family.

What’s also interesting is the idea of being dead but also reborn with mechanical parts. Can Murphy still find his humanity even though his family believes him dead? How does one move on?

Who has the edge? Robocop. Outside of personal preference, Although Arnie’s mind bending, sci-fi/ action thriller is more provocative, Robocop excels in dealing with themes that are relevant today and other themes that are brought upon through the use of satire.

“Bitches, leave!” – Boddicker (Robocop)

Scoreboard:   Total Recall: 0     Robocop: 1

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2. Performances

Total Recall

In the Swarzenegger-ish of all Swarzenegger-ish roles, this is probably the best. Now, to most critics, that’s not saying much but I say to hell with them! Arnie has screen presence (I’m not just talking about his physique) but his odd sounding accent and over-expressions really heighten this film to a whole other level.

Even in the supporting roles, we have Sharon Stone hamming it up as his maybe fake wife, Michael Ironside as the anger prone lead goons and Ronny Cox as the dubious Governor of Mars. Remember that Kuato scene? That parasitic twin was the coolest!

Robocop

Can you believe it? Ronny Cox is the bad guy in this movie too! Surely, it can’t be coincidence. Ok, it isn’t. I’m sure he developed a relationship with director, Paul Verhoeven. Ronny Cox was actually known as the moral, nice guy (see: Deliverence) before he starred in Robocop and then Total Recall.

Peter Weller as the befallen cop who was killed in the line of duty and brought back to cyborg life (Robocop) was actually well done. He didn’t have much expression as he was part robotic but he delivered some great one-liners.

Like Total Recall, there are many interesting supporting characters that make the movie watching experience that much sweeter.

Who has the edge? Total Recall. Gosh! Another tough one! The performances are strong through both films but you are more invested in Quaid’s journey (Arnie’s acting/presence) and the myriad of different characters he meets along the way.

“Open your mind.” – Kuato (Total Recall)

Scoreboard:   Total Recall: 1     Robocop: 1

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3. Rotten Tomatoes

Total Recall: 84% (43 out of 51 reviews)

Robocop: 88% (50 out of 57 reviews)

Who has the edge? Robocop. Critical Consensus! Why, I cannot believe this turnout. Robocop begins to overcome his programming and deals a one-two punch to Total Recall.

“I’d buy that for a dollar!” – Bixby Snyder (Robocop)

Scoreboard: Total Recall: 1     Robocop: 2

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4. Money Made

Total Recall

Budget: $65 million (est)
Domestic Box Office: $119,412,921
Money Made: $54,412,921
With Inflation (2014): $97,076,756

Robocop

Budget: $13 million (est)
Domestic Box Office: $53,424,681
Money Made: $40,424,681
With Inflation (2014): $82,930,148

Who has the edge? Total Recall. It was close but I’m sure you can ‘recall’ a time when Arnold Schwarzenegger movies were a big deal at the box office. Oh, and you can double the amount made for ‘Recall’ when you take into consideration international ticket sales.

“See you at the party, Richter!” – Douglas Quaid (Total Recall)

Scoreboard:   Total Recall: 2     Robocop: 2

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5. Cultural Significance

Total Recall

The themes in the Arnie flick are profound and futuristic while also reveling in satire for a short while (emphasizing profits over lives). Who can forget the ‘two weeks’ scene or the tracking device in nose scene? It’s safe to say that Total Recall is the more iconic of these two and puts up a good fight in the one-liner department.

Robocop

Believe it or not, in 2008, Robocop was selected #404 in The 500 Greatest Movies of All Time list by Empire Magazine. So, that has to say something to the legacy of this 1987 gem. The themes in the film resonate today just as the screenwriter stated in a 2013 interview that “we are now living in the world that I was proposing in Robocop…how big corporations will take care of us and.. how they won’t” (Hampton Institute). There’s a lot to still chew on.

Who has the edge? Robocop. Both are very relevant today, especially with Hollywood still trying to capitalize on their popularity with their recent remakes. However, what tilts the scale in Robocop’s favor is that its themes are still relevant today. I can definitely see how Total Recall could become even more relevant as technology progresses.

“Your move….creep.” – Robocop

Scoreboard:   Total Recall: 2     Robocop: 3

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Winner: Robocop. Even though I am partial to Total Recall, you can’t deny that Robocop is just a tiny bit better (at least according to my ‘factors’).

“Dead or alive, you’re coming with me!” – Robocop

Cinematic Showdown: “Goodfellas” vs. “The Departed”

Martin Scorsese has directed a lot of amazing crime movies and that brings us to this week’s Cinematic Showdown. Movies like “Casino”, “Gangs of New York”, and “Mean Streets” to the TV series “Boardwalk Empire”, Scorsese is known for his adoration of the crime drama. To simply sum him up like that would be ridiculous. He also has great range with movies like: “Hugo”, “The Wolf of Wall Street”, “Kundun”, “Taxi Driver”, “Shutter Island”, “The Aviator”, and “Raging Bull”.

So, why am I deciding to put these particular movies against each other this week? Firstly, “Goodfellas” is better than “Casino” but not by much. “The Departed” is a more recent, Scorsese film. Moreover, Pesci and mainly Deniro starred in a large majority of his earlier films and it wasn’t until Deniro referred DiCaprio to Scorsese that the torch was essentially passed to a newer generation. This explains the ongoing relationship DiCaprio has with Scorsese.

We are putting up classic Scorsese against neo-Scorsese.

Factors:

1. Overall Story
2. Performances
3. Script
4. Rotten Tomatoes & Actual Money Made — Total Domestic Box Office (Domestic was chosen over worldwide because “Goodfellas” was only released in North America) minus total budget.
5. Awards

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1. Overall Story

“Goodfellas” (1990) – Let’s not forget this amazing scene.

Henry Hill: You’re a pistol, you’re really funny. You’re really funny.
Tommy DeVito: What do you mean I’m funny?
Henry Hill: It’s funny, you know. It’s a good story, it’s funny, you’re a funny guy.
[laughs]
Tommy DeVito: What do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?
Henry Hill: It’s just, you know. You’re just funny, it’s… funny, the way you tell the story and everything.
Tommy DeVito: [it becomes quiet] Funny how? What’s funny about it?
Anthony Stabile: Tommy no, You got it all wrong.
Tommy DeVito: Oh, oh, Anthony. He’s a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?
Henry Hill: Jus…
Tommy DeVito: What?
Henry Hill: Just… ya know… you’re funny.
Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Henry Hill: Just… you know, how you tell the story, what?
Tommy DeVito: No, no, I don’t know, you said it. How do I know? You said I’m funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what’s funny!
Henry Hill: [long pause] Get the fuck out of here, Tommy!
Tommy DeVito: [everyone laughs] Ya motherfucker! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.

The story follows Henry Hill and his rise/fall working for the Lucchese family. Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) always wanted to be a gangster and is willing to do anything to accomplish this goal. In his perspective, to be a wise guy meant you demanded respect and you were more than just a celebrity. The story follows his interactions and schemes that leads to a cocaine addiction and then his eventual enlisting to the Witness Protection Program after realizing that his life is in danger.

“The Departed” (2006) – This movie is filled with great writing as well.

Frank Costello: When you decide to be something, you can be it. That’s what they don’t tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I’m saying to you is this: when you’re facing a loaded gun, what’s the difference?

Ellerby: Go fuck yourself.
Dignam: I’m tired from fucking your wife.
Ellerby: How is your mother?
Dignam: Good, she’s tired from fucking my father.

What many do not know is that this movie is a remake of the 2002 Chinese film, “Infernal Affairs”. In the Americanized version the story is essentially the same: An undercover cop infiltrates an Irish gang and a mole from the Irish gang is established in the police force. They are both racing to identify each other before being exposed.

Who has the edge? “Goodfellas”. This is very, very close. My reasoning stems from the fact that there would likely not be “The Departed” without the impact that “Goodfellas” had. The banter the wise guys exchanged, which were ad-libbed at times, adds to the 1990 movie edging out DiCaprio et al.

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2. Performances

“Goodfellas”

Sure Deniro was a headliner but this was a Ray Liotta and Joe Pesci movie. Pesci actually won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in his role here. Regarding Liotta, this is the movie that really made him. I honestly couldn’t imagine anyone else in his role and that’s a very good thing. Random thought: where has Joe Pesci been nowadays?

“The Departed”

Jack Nicholson eats up every scene in this film. The supporting actors in this are also very strong — from Ray Winstone, Alec Baldwin, Mark Wahlberg, and the overlooked David O’Hara. DiCaprio and Damon are excellent as per usual and even just them being casted in their roles perfectly contrasts the two similar characters on two polarizing paths.

Who has the edge? “The Departed”. Again, this wasn’t easy. The sheer amount of engaging performances in “The Departed” beats even the colorful dialogue that was had in “Goodfellas”.

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3. Script

The dialogue was top notch in “The Departed” but you’d be a fool not to say the same thing for “Goodfellas”. To avoid being too subjective in this category, I’ve referred to the Oscars to save me. Nicholas Pileggi adapted the script from his own book and received a nomination whereas William Monahan won the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay.

Who has the edge? “The Departed” 

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4. Rotten Tomatoes & Box Office

“Goodfellas”

RT score: 96% out of 69 reviews.
Total Domestic Box Office: $46,836,214
Budget: $25 million (obviously estimated)
Profit: $21,836,214
Profit Adjusted for Inflation in 2015: $39,045,723

“The Departed”

RT score: 91% out of 262 reviews.
Total Domestic Box Office: $132,384,315
Budget: $90 million EST
Profit: $42,384,315
Profit Adjusted for Inflation in 2015: $49,134,479

Sources: IMDb , Box Office Mojo , &  US Inflation Calculator

Who has the edge? “Goodfellas”. No lopsided victory here either. With the better RT score, “Goodfellas” edges out “The Departed” even though the opposite occurs with actual money made.

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5. Awards

Both of these deserved the accolades they received. For comparison sake and the amount of awards shows that have been created since 1990, only awards won from the Oscars, Golden Globes, and BAFTAs will be counted. Furthermore, if a movie receives any Oscar it is worth 3 points, a Golden Globe 2 points, and a BAFTA is 1 point.

“Goodfellas“

• OSCAR – Best Supporting Actor
• Golden Globes
• BAFTA – Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Costume Design, Best Direction, Best Editing, Best Film

Total Points: 8

“The Departed“

• OSCAR – Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Editing
• Golden Globes – Best Director
• BAFTA

Total Points: 14

Source: IMDb

Who has the edge? “The Departed”. Oscars remain the most prestigious and “The Departed” won four compared to “Goodfellas” with one.

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Overall Win? “The Departed” Both of these masterpieces will forever have a place in my heart. Let’s hope Scorsese gives us another crime masterpiece!

Cinematic Showdown: “The Prestige” vs. “The Illusionist”

Similar movies dueling each other in the same year is pretty darn common. Examples of this include: “Deep Impact” and “Armageddon” in 1998; “Volcano” and “Dante’s Peak” in 1997; & “The Thirteenth Floor” and “The Matrix” in 1999. This was also the case with “The Prestige” and “The Illusionist” in 2006.

The Prestige

Christopher Nolan was coming off the success of “Batman Begins” and taking most of that films cast and crew to make a movie about warring magicians. Great performances, dialogue and direction make this movie hard to beat in this edition of Cinematic Showdown. Don’t fret if you don’t agree. We have yet to consider the factors.

The Illusionist

Neil Burger (Limitless, Divergent) directed this movie about an Austrian illusionist by the name Eisenheim who tries to capture the love of a woman who is in a different social class. Convincing performances (especially between Paul Giamatti and Edward Norton), neat editing, and an excellent musical score (provided by genius composer, Philip Glass).

Here is what to consider:

1. Story
2. Rotten Tomatoes
3. Performances
4. Mise–en–scène – the physical setting of an action (as of a narrative or a motion picture).
5. Which made the most money? This is taking into consideration the worldwide box office minus the film’s budget.

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1. Story

The Prestige

An accidental drowning of a fellow magician’s lover leads to a magician one-upmanship in order to create the ultimate illusion. It was interesting to watch Hugh Jackman’s character fall, rise and fall again as he attempts to understand how Christian Bale’s character teleports from one end of a room to another. The film examines how far a man is willing to go in order to out do the other. Bale’s actions sacrificed his marriage and Jackman his soul.

The story is original, exciting, and provocative.

Story grade: A-

The Illusionist

As children,  Eisenheim and Sophie began to fall in love but when society comes to find out,  they are ripped from each other strictly due to their social standings. The boy who would later become Eisenheim, the Illusionist leaves Vienna, Austria only to return many years later in an attempt to regain what he lost. Sophie wants to return to Eisenheim but fears that she would be captured. This sets up many pieces to make the audience believe one way when actually, ever since the Illusionist arrives in town, it is quite the contrary.

A love story but a clever one involving many beautiful scenes.

Story grade: B+

Who has the edge? The Prestige

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2. Rotten Tomatoes

The Prestige – 76% with 188 critic reviews

The Illusionist – 74% with 187 critic reviews

Who has the edge? The Prestige

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3. Performances

The Prestige

Bale and Jackman’s rivalry is simply the best even though they hardly react to each other on screen. Most of the time they are reading from each other’s journals or participating as audience members for each others’ magic shows. You believe that these are two men who are willing to go to great lengths in order to get what they want. This is also rounded out by great supporting performances like the great Michael Caine and the even cooler David Bowie, as the badass Nikola Tesla (pictured above).

The Illusionist

Edward Norton was solid here as was his supporting cast — Jessica Biel, Paul Giamatti, and Rufus Sewell. Giamatti (Inspector Uhl) and Norton’s (Eisenheim) relationship stands out the most and one that grows over the course of the movie. The inspector is trying to prove how Eisenheim does his tricks while also trying to find a reason to arrest him to appease the Crown Prince (played by Sewell). The inspector remains the most interesting character of the movie as he is the one who is visually conflicted as he admires Eisenheim, wants to please the Crown Prince but, yet, also wants to do what is right.

Who has the edge? The Prestige. 

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4. Mise–en–scène – the physical setting of an action (as of a narrative or a motion picture). One of the most well known examples of this in cinema is “The Cabinet of Dr. Calligari” (1920). See here >>>.

The Prestige

The use of cool, blue colors and scenes that were left mostly dark pervaded the film. You film was shot well but a setting was never truly placed. You can’t look at a scene of the movie, not involving the actors, and say “oh, I know what this is”.

The Illusionist

We are in late 19th century Vienna, Austria-Hungary. Orange and dim filters are apparent throughout the film, almost to purposely to create a haziness, so as to cloud the viewer as the whole movie is a sleight of hand trick. I can look at almost any scene of this movie and identify it.

Who has the edge? The Illusionist

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5. Which made the most money? Results taken from Box Office Mojo

The Prestige
Worldwide Box Office: $109,676,311
Budget: $40 million
Money made: $69,676,311

The Illusionist
Worldwide Box Office: $87,892,388
Budget: $16.5 million
Money made: $71,392,388

Who has the edge? That was close huh? The Illusionist 

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Overall Win: The Prestige 

This is the closest Cinematic Showdown. I still have to side for the loser despite my own factors listed above.

Christian Bale channeling his inner State Farm  “I got ya a dollar!!!”