Tag Archives: Jean Claude Van Damme

The Muscles from Brussels has his own Amazon Series & Teaser Trailer!!!

International martial arts superstar, Jean Claude Van Damme, is going to take a stab (or should I say jab?) at the small screen in one of Amazon Video’s upcoming series, “Jean Claude Van Johnson”. JCVD plays a fictionalized version of himself who also moonlights as the most dangerous undercover contractor in the world. After having since been retired from the ‘contracting’ business, he is brought back into the fray after an encounter with a lost love.

Check out the teaser below.

 

The series will also star Kat Foster, Moises Arias, and Phylicia Rashad. The show will be executive produced by Peter Atencio (“Key and Peele”), Ridley Scott, David W. Zucker, and JCVD himself. Atencio directed the pilot, which was written by Dave Callaham (“Mortal Kombat”).
 

“Jean Claude Van Johnson” will debut on Amazon Video on August 19th along with the comic book superhero series, “The Tick”, and the comedy series “I Love Dick”.
 

Christopher Lambert + JCVD = “Kickboxer: Retaliation”

What? You don’t recognize the Lambert name? Shame on you! Ok, not really. Lambert is best known for playing an immortal in “Highlander” and Lord Raiden (the God of Thunder) in the 1995 video game movie adaptation — “Mortal Kombat”.

What better way than to bring Lambert back into the limelight than by having him team up with international martial arts legend, Jean Claude Van Damme (who, rather ironically, played Guile in the video game movie adaptation “Street Fighter” (1994)?

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. The crazy doesn’t end there though. Lambert is set to portray a villain in a sequel to a rebooted series that hasn’t even come out yet. This rebooted series begins with “Kickboxer: Vengeance”, which is set to come out in theaters on September 2nd. ‘Vengeance’ will star JCVD, Dave Bautista, Gina Carano and Alain Moussi. Check out the trailer for “Kickboxer: Vengeance” below!

The producers believe ‘Vengeance’ will be a big enough hit that they have already started principal photography on the sequel, “Kickboxer: Retaliation”. The cast continues to get more interesting though. “Game of Thrones” star Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (The Mountain) will be set as the movie big bad, with Lambert playing a godfather of underground fighting and a scientist who helped create Bjornsson’s character using HGH, steroids, etc.

Bloodsport-and-Kickboxer-Remakes-Reboots
Classic JCVD in “Kickboxer” (1989).

‘Vengeance’ is directed by John Stockwell (“Into the Blue”, “Blue Crush”). Well, at least I really enjoyed “Blue Crush”. The sequel, ‘Retaliation’, is set to be directed by Dimitri Logothetis.

I’m surprised there isn’t a movie title predictor for Jean Claude Van Damme’s upcoming movies. Just saying. A betting man would find as many synonyms for ‘revenge’ as possible.

The Best Science Fiction Films

It’s always been difficult to answer the “what’s your favorite movie” question. Being a ‘Sherlock’ of sorts with cinema, I simply have too much to factor in. A better response to the question should be, “which genre?” With this edition, I wanted to focus on the Sci-Fi genre. If I’m being honest with myself, I gravitate towards ‘types’ of films based upon mood just like anyone else but I also do a lot of my viewings in phases. Perhaps that’s why I’m writing this – lately I feel like I want to escape. What better genre of movie than science fiction?

Factors considered: Thought provocation, performances, writing, direction, and overall production (set pieces, cinematography, music, editing, etc.)

*This countdown starts with 16, because why not?

16. Her (2013)

This one is unfairly overlooked but it is likely due to the offbeat genres that director Spike Jonze (“Adaptation”, “Being John Malkovich”) continues to be known for. In this, we follow Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix), a depressed man who works as a writer of personal letters (for those that cannot write something personal themselves) and is dealing with the impending divorce of his childhood sweetheart (Rooney Mara). Still reeling and unhappy, Theodore ends up buying an operation system that is capable of learning on its own and has a personable voice. Theodore ends up selecting a female voice and naming the OS Samantha (voiced by Scarlett Johannson). Strangely, Theodore ends up developing a meaningful relationship with Samantha as she (the operating system) forces him to grow as a person. Theodore comes to terms with a lot in his life through Samantha. The two develop a relationship where the very nature of ‘love’ is questioned.  

The film is insightful and makes you question how we relate to each other and how the concept of ‘love’ is subjective. We all feel alone and wish to ‘truly connect’ with another. Never has a film captured this so well.
 

15. The Last Starfighter (1984)

Doesn’t everyone remember this film fondly? This, along with “Tron”, was one of the first films to use a lot of CGI. Looking back at the effects, you’d likely shake your head but you have to admire what they were trying to accomplish. The premise is neat in that it follows how a teenager (Alex), living in a trailer park, is obsessed with the arcade game, Starfighter, in which he must protect “the Frontier” from Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada. After becoming the highest scoring player, he is approached by an alien named Centauri who explains that the arcade game was a test to find those ‘gifted’ so that they may help in the fight against well, Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada. There’s a lot of 1980s cheese here too, including a subplot that finds a cloned android of Alex trying to pass as the real Alex.

This story is inspiring and fun to think about. What if that video game you’ve spent hundreds of hours playing was actually meant for something? Furthermore, the filmmakers are trying to figure out how to make a sequel but the last rumblings have this in the form of a virtual reality video game. It’s ‘mission: stay tuned’ for anything further from ‘The Last Starfighter’.
 

14. Planet of the Apes (1968)

“Take you stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!” – George Taylor (Charlton Heston)

I’d be a fool not to include this. The story on which the film is based was conceived due to author Pierre Boulle’s fascination with the humanlike expressions of apes. This led Boulle to begin questioning the relationship between man and ape. The plot of the book, “La Planete des Singes”, focused more on human overreliance with technology (and our complacency) which led to our overruling by the apes.

Anyways, the film follows how an astronaut, George Taylor (played by Charlton Heston), crash lands on a planet run by (you guessed it) apes. The apes are captivated by Taylor as he can actually speak, unlike the rest of the humans they have enslaved. Taylor tries to use his intelligence to outsmart the apes but it really only leads him to the most shocking truth by the film’s end – the planet that he is actually on is a futuristic earth – where the fall of man led to the rise of apes. I would say spoiler alert but it’s been 40 plus years.
 

13. Dark City (1998)

A man, Robert Murdoch (Rufus Sewell), wakes up in a bathtub without any memory as to who he is. He receives a phone call warning him that people are after him and that he must leave. During the call, he also realizes that there is a brutalized corpse on the floor which suggests he is a serial killer. This puts him on the run for answers that leads him to venture out the only memory he seems to have – of a place called ‘Shell Beach’. Soon, Murdoch comes to find out there are seemingly ‘alien like’ creatures (referred to as ‘strangers’) after him, especially after exhibits the ability to ‘tune’, which are ‘mind powers’.

I do not wish to spoil the ending of such a great film but would mention that if you have even the slightest sway to the sci-fi realm, then I highly recommend this. This also blends sci-fi with the noir genre of the 1940s/1950s – not just with story but also aesthetics. The film is one of the first of its kind – this came out before “The Matrix” mind you.
 
 

12. Donnie Darko (2001)

This was an indie film that had a huge cult following and helped give Jake Gyllenhaal his big break. The story is set in 1988 when a troubled teenager, Donnie Darko, is told by a man named Frank (in a giant rabbit costume) that the world is going to end in 28 days. After sleep walking, Donnie comes home to a jet engine having fallen on his room in his family’s house (no one knows where the jet engine came from). We then begin to learn more about Donnie via his sessions with his psychotherapist and how his actions are perpetrated by his visits with Frank (whom his therapist believes are hallucinations). Donnie even starts acting oddly and begins to understand how time travel could theoretically work. We are then thrust in a series of events that leads to the mysterious jet engine in the beginning of the film. Many heralded the film for its deeply emotional themes, scientific explorations, and open ended conclusion that left many in great discussion.
 

 
11. Predator (1984)

An alien with cornrows hunts down people one by one until there’s one left – Dutch (Arnie Schwarzenegger). Okay, it’s slightly more complicated than that. A group of mercenaries are recruited to rescue an official in the jungles of Val Verde (which is a fictional South/Central American country or city used by Hollywood to avoid getting into legal or diplomatic disputes). They soon come to find out that they are actually there to help the CIA gather further intelligence after a US Armed Special Forces unit was brutally murdered. Shortly thereafter, the ‘predator’ gets to work and starts picking off the mercenaries one by one. It’s up to Ah-nold to take down the bada$$ predator. The cast is rounded out by some greats – Carl Weathers, Jesse Ventura, and Sonny Landham.

Fun Fact: Jean Claude Van Damme was the initial actor chosen to play the Predator.
 

10. Alien (1979)

The ultimate sci fi/horror film not only made us crawl outside our own skin, but introduced a wonderfully directed movie from the visionary Ridley Scott. It may be best described as venereal horror in that many of the alien designs were symbolic of sexual organs attacking their hosts. Certainly creepy and a visual masterpiece, the story focuses on a space crew that answers a supposed distress signal on an alien planet but discover that it was actually a warning. Of course, all goes to hell when a contaminated member is allowed access to the ship causing all sorts of problems. This is a must watch.
 

 
9. Total Recall (1990)

I wish I could shut up about this movie. I constantly think about it. Society is getting closer and closer to the short story by Philip K. Dick – “We Can Remember for You Wholesale”, on which this movie is based. The story finds a man who decides to get a memory implant of an adventure on the planet Mars. He begins to awake in mid-implant and escapes realizing that it has been a set up and that he isn’t who he thinks he is. His entire life has been implanted with what he thinks is his real life. This is the strongest notion of the film – the idea that memories can be implanted when in fact they never happened. By the film’s end, we are unsure if what Arnie accomplished was real or was just an implanted memory he was recalling.

“Consider that a divorce” – Douglas McQuaid (Arnie Schwarzenegger)

Even if you don’t like the genre, the film boasts plenty of one-liners and action sequences to please any Schwarzenegger fan. Also, this is the same director behind other great movies – “Robocop” and “Basic Instinct”.
 

8. Minority Report (2002)

Based upon “The Minority Report” short story by (you guessed it) Philip K. Dick, this loose adaptation stars a classic Tom Cruise as John Anderton, a Pre-Crime agent in 2054 Washington, D.C. The agency is essentially run by three pre-cogs and their recorded visions. While on assignment, Anderton sees a recording of himself murdering someone (in the future…duh) and in utter shock (and with the intent to prove his innocence), he goes on the run. Tom Cruise loves to run. Anyways, the film explores the implications of what a ‘pre-cog’ program would have on society and ethics. Can someone really be guilty of a crime they haven’t (yet) committed? If such a program existed, would you be able to manipulate the results?

The film was directed by Steven Spielberg and includes an excellent musical score by John Williams and cinematography by Janusz Kaminski (“Schindler’s List”, “Saving Private Ryan”).
 

7. Back to the Future (1985)


“1.21 gigawatts?!!” – Dr. Emmett Brown (Christopher Lloyd)

One of the most fun time travel movies out there. Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) and scientist pal, Dr. Brown (Christopher Lloyd) (not sure how they ever met), take on an adventure when Marty McFly (from 1985) time travels to 1955. Once there, he must recruit Dr. Emmett Brown (who has yet to invent time travel) to get him back to 1985 and also prevent some other ‘events’ from occurring – the fate of Marty’s parents (and his own existence) and Dr. Brown’s at the hands of terrorists.  

This movie is a staple of cinema not only because of the cool premise but also of the chemistry between Fox and Lloyd. The film can put anyone in a good mood (even if it doesn’t make logical sense). You can also add to the fact that almost everything about the film is iconic – the Delorean car, Marty’s ‘life preserver’, and the action set pieces – the lightning hitting the clock tower, Marty versus Biff and his goons, etc.

Fun Fact: Eric Stoltz was initially cast in the Marty McFly role and after a month into production was replaced with Michael J. Fox. This was supposedly due to the lack of on screen chemistry that was had between Lloyd and Stoltz.

 
 
6. Children of Men (2006)

The year is 2027 where two decades of human infertility has led to a chaotic world. The story follows a man, Theo (Clive Owen), who reluctantly helps a refugee to safety after he witnesses that she is actually pregnant. The film remains dynamic not just because of its premise but also the examinations of the fallout due to such a crisis. Political and social upheaval surrounds a group that is trying to help bring a child into the world. Themes of hope and faith are also explored.

The film features an excellent cast: Clive Owen, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Julianne Moore, Michael Caine, Charlie Hunnam and Danny Huston. The film was directed by Alfonso Cuaron (“Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban”, “A Little Princess” and “Gravity”). The story is based upon the book, “The Children of Men” by P.D. James.
 

5. The Matrix (1999)

“You think that’s air you’re breathing? Hmm…” – Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne)

No surprise to see this on here. This movie was a game changer and not just because of the revolutionary special effects but the philosophical notions embedded in the story. Would you want to live a lie (in the Matrix) or live in a post-apocalyptic world where a fight wages to destroy the machines’ hold on our consciousness? Also, is the very idea of ‘the Matrix’ plausible? This idea invokes emotions that liken to that of ‘Allegory of the Cave’ by Plato.

Even outside of this, we also get exceptional martial arts sequences that look like a plausible high flying/kicking kung fu movie from the 1970s. Oh and let us not forget about ‘bullet time’ and the advent of 360 degrees camera capturing technology. It is obvious many films copied this technique – “Swordfish”, “The One”, etc.

The film stars Keanu Reeves (who has a knack for picking excellent movies to be in), Laurence Fishburne, Carrie Anne Moss, and Hugo Weaving (always welcome in any movie).

 
4. Inception (2010)

You cannot simply sum up this film. It’s filled with ideas that range from how we conceptualize our dreams and reality to what we’d be faced with should we have the option to ‘share dreamspaces’. Christopher Nolan initially pitched a script to Warner Brothers Studios around 2002, and he would later be able to complete his film about dream stealers after he proved himself with movies like “The Prestige” and “The Dark Knight”. This remains a highly controversial film as to the many interpretations – which most revolved around which scene took place in reality and which was simply a dream. It seemed as though every viewer had a different interpretation of the story and this ignites discussion.

The special effects were top notch as were the performances from a stellar cast that includes: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy, Ellen Page, Michael Caine, Joseph Gordon Levitt and Cillian Murphy. This is close to a masterpiece.

 
3. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1969)

Can you imagine seeing this in the year it came out? I would be floored and not just with the visuals towards the end of the film. This Stanley Kubrick directed masterpiece is based upon the short story “The Sentinel” by Arthur C. Clarke. It follows a space crew, along with a sentient computer, Hal, on a voyage to Jupiter after they discover a black monolith affecting human evolution. The film is pivotal for examining many large ideas like existentialism, artificial intelligence, human evolution and extra-terrestrial life. The narrative heavily relies upon visuals and there is not much need for dialogue. You add in the moving classical music with pioneering, revolutionary visual effects, and you have a film that is at the top of any sci-fi movie lovers list.

You can’t call yourself a sci-fi aficionado and not see this film.
 
 
 
2. Blade Runner (1982)

This is a truly transcendent film and one of the first in cinema history to tackle themes such as existentialism and what it means to be ‘human’. The story follows a special police operative, Rick Deckard, who agrees to one last mission to hunt down a replicant, an android based clone of a human. These replicants are made to work on dangerous assignments off world but some of them return to Earth to extend their lives (as their life span is only a few years). The problem is that replicants are banned from Earth. As Deckard investigates, he encounters a replicant (Rachael) who believes she is human (thanks to the Tyrell Corporation that manufactured her). Rachael is given false memories to provide an emotional layer to her programming. This programming helps blur the line between human and replicant, thereby making Deckard’s job more difficult. The rogue replicants that Deckard are hunting wish to ask their creator, Tyrell, to extend their lives and are willing to do ‘questionable’ things in order to do so.

The film is also based on a Philip K. Dick book, “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep” and was directed by the master, Ridley Scott. One of the best sci-fi movies ever and you’d be hard pressed to find someone that disagrees with me.

 
1. Gattaca (1997)

The setting is ‘the not too distant future’ where humans are genetically altered to possess the best hereditary traits of their parents (can be viewed as a form of eugenics). The film brings about the potential problems of such a technology existing, which includes genetic discrimination. There are those labeled ‘valids’ and ‘in-valids’. We follow Vincent Freeman (Ethan Hawke), who was conceived naturally. Freeman tries everything to pass as a ‘valid’ so that he may accomplish his dream of becoming an astronaut. Along the way, he meets a tragic swimmer, Jerome Morrow (Jude Law), who was meant to be the best swimmer in the world but only received 2nd place and, as a result, placed himself in front of a car – leaving himself paralyzed.  

Highly possible and thought provoking, this film examines how our genes could be the only factor in determining our life long dreams. Moreover, this touches upon how hard work and determination juxtaposes that with simply having the ‘tools’ in order to succeed. Just like the tagline for the film, ‘there is no gene for the human spirit’.
 

Well, there you have it. This is the ‘quintessential’ sci-fi movie list. A lot of factors went into these decisions but I did leave out a couple that I didn’t quite feel like ‘made the cut’.

Honorable Mentions:

“The Thirteenth Floor” (1999) – Thought provoking for sure but everything else about the film could have been better. This examines the concept of virtual reality.

“Solaris” (2002) – Beautiful sci/fi love story set in space and based upon the Russian original under the same title. Human emotion is explored via sci-fi elements. The concept of love is used as a means to help us better understand who we are.

“Ex-Machina” (2015) – A programmer is invited to the estate of his company’s CEO to run Turing tests on his latest creation – Ava.

“The Thing” (1982) – At a research facility in the Antarctic is turned upside down when a crew come into contact with an extraterrestrial life form that imitates other organisms. Paranoia sets in as many do not know who is or is not infected.

“Interstellar” (2014) – In the near future, the ability to harvest crops at a global level continue to wane. A secret NASA facility is set up to send astronauts via a wormhole to potentially hospital planets. The other ‘rub’ is that these are likely one way trips. Controversial and intriguing. This doesn’t get on the list due to its weak ‘family’ and ‘love’ sub plots that undermine the plausibility of the story. The film would be way more gratifying if they fixed these problems. 

The Top 11 Action Movies

From AH-nold to Van Dammaging, this is the ‘definitive’ list of no holds barred, manlier than manlier, high kicking, and needless explosion-y movies (that’ll make most women roll their eyes in complete annoyance), well, until next year or something.

Now, I do not take this task (which I brought upon myself) lightly. The people must know! There is something undeniably therapeutic when watching people tear each other apart. Whether this is to avenge a death or to prevent a post-apocalyptic future from occurring, these movies more often than not require multiple viewings.

My criteria (or benchmarks) in gathering this “Ultimate List” stems from various factors: top notch action (duh!), story, style and even some one-liners. I need to also mention that a lot of these movies are in different genres as well – sci fi/action, action/drama, fantasy/action, superhero/action, etc. You get it.
 
Counting down…..

11. The Raid 2

You want elaborate martial arts sequences and bone crushing moves? Look no further. This is the ‘godfather’ of martial arts movies (I’m serious). The highly popular Indonesian movie has made waves internationally and even made way for its actors/martial artists (Iko Uwais,Yayan Ruhian) to appear in “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”, albeit briefly. I’ve included a clip from the film to entice you. I literally had to pull my jaw from the floor after witnessing these intricate, highly stylized action sequences. Get over your hesitation of subtitled movies. If you don’t, you’ll miss out on a lot of great movies, including this gem.

 


10. Lethal Weapon

“I’m too old for this sh*t” – Murtaugh (Danny Glover)

This is the best buddy cop movie ever (“Lethal Weapon 2” is a close follow up). This is the movie that would later help define what a buddy cop movie should entail – reluctant partners who form a meaningful relationship, one liners, chase scenes and explosions. Not only that, this is Mel Gibson in top form. Say what you will of the guy as of late, but when you can actually ‘act’ in an action movie, it makes it all the better. The story focuses on Riggs, a LA cop who just loses his wife. Riggs, who is now understandably volatile, is reassigned to a new partner – a family man that is near retirement – Murtaugh. Together they form a bond while also uncovering a huge drug trafficking ring led by Gary ‘freakin’ Busey.

9. The Dark Knight

“Where’s Rachel?!!” – Batman (Christian Bale)

Not only is this one of the best superhero films to date, it also features breathtaking set pieces in which the action takes place. In the movie (if by some weird circumstance you haven’t seen the film), Batman is challenged by a villain like never before, the Joker. He would rather watch the world burn and gets off by toying with people, especially Bats and Harvey Dent. He presents them with a moral dilemma to see if he can ‘corrupt them’. A fascinating tale and look into a conflicted Batman and his deeper, moral fiber. Also, let’s not forget the snatch and grab scene in Tokyo, Bats battling a bunch of guys using cell phone sonar signals, or the chase scene that ultimately lead to Bats using his bat bike.
 


8. Rambo: First Blood

“Why you gotta be pushing me?” – John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone)

When a war veteran, John Rambo (Stallone), goes looking for a friend in a small Washington town, he ends up meeting Sheriff Teasle (Brian Dennehy), who sees him as a threat to the peaceful way of life. When Teasle and his fellow officers try to take him in and clean him up, Rambo has PTSD of his time as a prisoner of war in Vietnam and unleashes his fury on the entire department. This sets up a man hunt throughout the mountains and, consequently, a one man war against Teasle and the entire police department. However, Rambo’s affliction runs deeper than anyone else really knows. Not only can Rambo fight but he can survive….anywhere. This makes him a total bada$$. Gosh, I wish I had his knife – it comes with a rope and a compass. There’s a reason there’s three sequels to this movie.
 


7. Bloodsport

“You’re Next!” – Chun Li (Bolo Yeung)

This is what made Jean Claude Van Damme, the muscles from Brussels, an international superstar. An underground fighting tournament is held in Hong Kong every year and Frank Dux (JCVD) attends to honor his shidoshi (master). Along the way, he meets a brash, goofy fellow competitor, Jackson (played by Donald Gibb) while also trying to thwart military officers (Forest Whitaker and Norman Burton) who want him for going AWOL. What makes this one of the best action movies? Van Damme. Sure, he can’t act but his athleticism and martial arts skills are of such a high caliber that he transcends as a major star. Of course, there are the varieties of different martial artists in this that include: a Thai kickboxer, a monkey style fighter, a sumo wrestler, and kung fu fighters. My favorite scene is the unorthodox training of Frank Dux (a la learning how to fight while blindfolded and that machine that enables him to do the splits) as it was integral in him defeating Chun Li (sorry, spoiler!) after a substance temporarily blinds him. Not to mention, the movie has a kick a$$ soundtrack that always gets me in the mood to work out!
 


6. Terminator 2: Judgment Day

“Come with me if you want to live.” – T800 (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

Yes, I believe this is the superior film of the film series. Even the special effects of this still resonate today. Man, liquid metal never looked so cool. Arnie is a good T-800 this go around who is sent back in time and must protect John Connor to ensure there is a resistance against the machines in the future. Things get muddled when the machines send back a more advanced robot – the T1000 (Robert Patrick). Excellent action sequences are highlighted by the one on one robot smack downs and basically whenever Arnie shoots off any large gun. A huge plus goes to Arnie as his wooden acting plays well to his T800 character. Just ignore any of the ‘Terminator’ films that came after this.
 


5. Die Hard

“Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?” – Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman)

This is one of the all-time classics. An on vacation cop, John McClane (Bruce Willis), visits his estranged wife on Christmas Eve while at her corporate party at a Japanese owned high rise. Things are fine until terrorists crash the party and take everyone hostage. Eventually, McClane realizes he’s the only one to save them. Who can forget that fight between McClane and Karl or the mere fact that he’s running around slaying the bad guys with no shoes on? This is chalk full of suspense and, yes, many one-liners. One of the best Christmas movies out there (although my personal favorite Christmas movie remains “Bad Santa”).
 


4. Face/Off

“Interception. Looks like our side’s got the ball.” – Castor Troy as Sean Archer (John Travolta)

How can I not include this movie? You’ve got a whacky Nicolas Cage and a whimsical Travolta. Yes, people complain about the implausibility of the premise – switching faces and what not (hmm… isn’t “Game of Thrones” exploring that with the Faceless God?). They are sadly missing the point here. In order to have fun with this movie, you have to overlook this and play what the notion of ‘what if’. What if my worst enemy (do people have a lot of enemies?) and myself switched bodies? The ramifications would be tremendous. That’s why this movie stands on its own.

The premise centers on an FBI agent, Sean Archer (Travolta), who goes after a global terrorist, Castor Troy (Cage), who also killed his son. As the film’s tagline would suggest, ‘in order to defeat him, I must become him’. If only I used the same M.O. with my enemies!

Moreover, initial casting of this movie was going to be Sylvester Stallone and Arnie Schwarzenegger. Can you imagine? Anyways, with Travolta and Cage we at least get stronger performances that help carry the emotional turmoil these characters go through.
 
 
 


3. Raiders of the Lost Ark

“I hate snakes, Jock!” – Indiana Jones

Renowned archeologist, Dr. Jones, is hired by the US government to obtain the Ark of the Covenant, which supposedly still holds the Ten Commandments. It just so happens that Hitler’s officers are also after the same thing. Together, with the help of his ex-flame, the two go on a globetrotting adventure while also playing a cat and mouse game with the Nazis. Filled with complex action sequences (especially that chase scene), fist fights and that famous scene where Indy shoots a man with sword skills. To me, this is my favorite character that Harrison Ford plays.
 


2. The Matrix

“Are you telling me I can dodge bullets?” – Neo (Keanu Reeves)

Forget the sequels. When you entice your audience so much and grandstand with a plethora of ideas, any attempt at answering the questions you raise will only be met with much criticism. Look, movies should ‘entice’ us to think differently, but it is when they take a firm position on anything, they throw out anyone’s preconceived notions that they had answered in their heads. Anyways, to include this movie is a no-brainer. It has everything you want. Incredible visuals, top notch fight sequences, and an original plot line that intrigues us. Neo is a lonely computer programmer/hacker that always felt like his life was ‘amiss’. This is the case until he meets the mysterious Morpheus, who informs him that he has been living in a dream world constructed by machines. On top of that, he finds out that he is the prophesized ‘one’ who will lead to resistance against the machines. The film makes us question our reality and our purpose. Large scale ideas mixed with interesting characters and action/adventure, and you have got a hit.  
 
 
 
 


1. Point Break

“Wars of religion always make me laugh because basically you’re fighting over who has the best imaginary friend.” – Johnny Utah (Keanu Reeves)

The framework for this masterpiece was actually stolen by the “The Fast and Furious” movie. An undercover FBI agent, Johnny Utah (Reeves), is tasked with investigating potential bank robbers – that also wear US presidents’ masks. As his lead hints that the robbers may also be surfers, he tries to get in good with the local surfers. This puts him into contact with the ultra-cool Bodhi Satva (Patrick Swayze). The two form a highly unique friendship, one that sees Utah changing his outlook on life and becoming an adrenaline junkie to experience his spiritual side. With that, the other dimension of this movie separates it from the pack because not only do we get excellent surfing and sky diving scenes, but there is an embedded philosophical take on how being close to injury or death is what it means to feel alive.

Outside of this, we have a bunch of awesome one-liners and a zangy Gary Busey, who plays Utah’s partner, Pappas. Think, this is the same year (1991) that Keanu Reeves starred in “Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey”. Right around this time, Reeves was being eyed for more serious roles that eventually paved the way for stardom with films like “Speed”, “The Matrix”, and “John Wick”.
 
 

So, there you have it. I’m positive I left a movie out that I’m sure someone will give me hell for. Oh, and yes, “Point Break” is my favorite action movie. It has everything that I love – action, bromance, spiritualism, adrenaline filled stunts, and one-liners.  
 

Feel like I left something out? Let me know via @popculturecrunc , @nitropetersen or feel free to drop a comment below or email us at pccbits@gmail.com.

Cinematic Showdown: “Tango and Cash” vs. “Death Warrant”

This edition pits two movies that largely take place in prisons! We have “Tango and Cash”(1989), a movie that teamed Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell, and “Death Warrant”(1990), a movie that helped solidify Jean Claude Van Damme as an international action superstar. Other similarity is the fact that these are straight up action movies. It’s one-liners and high flying kicks in this showdown!

 

Round 1 – Story

As outlandish as both of these films are, you can’t help but admire that they are fun to watch. After all, the greatest thing about movies is the idea that it offers an escape. From that standpoint, both of these films succeed. The plot is almost always plain vanilla with action movies and that’s alright! Give me the one-liners and ‘splosions! However, there must be a victor in this round.

“Tango and Cash”

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Well, my gun is bigger than yours!

 

Captain Schroeder: If you really wanted to stare death in the eye, you shoulda gotten married.

Ray Tango: [laughs] Is that a proposal?

Two prominent cops in California are known for ceasing tons of drugs from reaching the streets. One of them is Lietenant Ray Tango (Stallone) from Beverly Hills, an uptight cop who also plays the stock market and Gabriel Cash (Russell) from Downtown L.A., who plays it loose and could really care less about how he’s perceived by the public. Of course, both Tango and Cash are set up for murder and end up being transferred to a maximum-security prison (which is where many of the criminals Cash and Tango put away in the past). As you can imagine, many of the criminals have it out for the former cops and make elaborate deals with the prison guards so that they can have their way with them. Cash remains determined to get out and works with Tango to do just that. Together, they go after the people that were instrumental in them being set up and, ultimately, the drug dealer (s)  – Yves Perret (Jack Palance), Quan (James Hong – he’s Lopan in “Big Trouble Little China”) and Lopez (Marc Alaimo).  Oh, and Teri Hatcher plays Tango’s sister/Cash’s love interest. Double oh, and Kurt Russell dresses up as a woman in this (it was meant to be ‘cheeky’ but just comes off really bizarre when re-watching).

 

“Death Warrant”

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Van Damme flexing….again.

Christian ‘The Sandman’ Naylor: Bring me a dream Burke, bring me a dream.

After his partner was killed, Canadian Detective Burke (ah, so that explains the accent Van Damme) goes after the man responsible, Christian Naylor (aka ‘the Sandman’ –played by Patrick Kilpatrick). After barely surviving himself, Burke was able to subdue Sandman by shooting him several times (but not killing him). A year or so passes and Burke is on a different assignment in California– to go undercover at a prison for the unexplained deaths that are occurring there. Trying to investigate on the ‘outside’ is Beckett, who is also posing as Burke’s wife. This ‘posed’ marriage turns into something more as Burke and Beckett turn up the heat! Anyways, eventually Beckett finds that the deaths are to be blamed on the State Attorney General (George Dickerson). The mysterious killings were actually for organs to be sold to the most desperate bidder (for the highest price!). Not just that, the State Attorney General even finds time to transfer the Sandman to the Californian prison in order to kill Burke. This is what sets up the final showdown between the two men again. Of course, the Sandman gets Van Dammaged.

Who has the edge? Oddly “Death Warrant”. Although the acting was subpar, the more complex storyline wins out here. Characters are written so as to appear more believable and help bring the grittiness of prison life to the forefront. Also, this was David S. Goyer’s first screenplay that was bought by a major movie studio. To those not in the know, Goyer went on to write “The Dark Knight” trilogy, the “Blade” series, “Man of Steel”, etc.

 


Round 2 – Performances

“Tango and Cash”

Kurt Russell in drag.
Kurt Russell in drag.

Gabriel Cash: I don’t know about you, but I have an aversion to getting F.U.B.A.R…

Ray Tango: What’s F.U.B.A.R.?

Gabriel Cash: F*cked-Up Beyond All Recognition.

 

Even outside of the fun banter that is had between Stallone and Russell, there are a lot of really great supporting actors as well that include Geoffrey Lewis (“Double Impact”) as Captain Schroeder, Michael J. Pollard (“Bonnie and Clyde”) as tech guru Owen, Michael Jeter (“The Green Mile”, “Jurassic Park III”) as Skinner (the audio expert) and Clint Howard (“Apollo 13”, brother of Ron Howard) as Slinky. And look, this movie (although it had production problems) is a lot of fun because of the performances. The story puts our main characters in dire situations but you always know that they’d find a way to triumph while slinging one-liners all over the place. I cannot see this movie working without Russell and Stallone reveling in their dialogue.

 

“Death Warrant”

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Sandman playing with Van Damme….BIG mistake!

Shouldn’t Van Damme lose in every ‘acting’ category? He may have the charm but he’s not fooling anyone. His kicks do the talking! Well, thankfully he has enough supporting actors that are good enough to help him ‘blend’ in with the rest of em’. He’s supported by the likes of actors Robert Guillaume (Rafiki in “Lion King”) and Abdul Salaam El Razzac (“Terminator 2: Judgment Day”) as two of Van Damme’s prison friends. You may also recognize Joshua John Miller as the computer hacker. He’s that creepy looking guy that always seems to play a tormented spaz/d*ckhole in all of his other roles – “Near Dark” and “Teen Witch”. 

Who has the edge? “Tango and Cash” simply has more memorable characters that standout. Plus, who can say no to Stallone and Russell talking sh*t to each other?

 


Round 3 – Money Talks

“Tango and Cash” (source: Box Office Mojo)

Domestic Gross: $63.4 million

Budget: $55 million

Profit: $8.4 million

 

“Death Warrant” (source: Box Office Mojo)

Domestic Gross: $16.5

Budget: $6 million

Profit: 10.5 million

 

Who has the edge? “Death Warrant” is more profitable but that doesn’t mean it was seen by more people. Just looking at the numbers, about 5 times as many people went to see “Tango and Cash”. From that perspective, it is highly likely that “Tango and Cash” did a lot more business once you account for VHS sales. Since we are only accounting for box office and profit resulting when factoring in the film’s budget, “Death Warrant” wins out here.

 


Round 4 – Rotten Tomatoes

“Tango and Cash” – Audience Score: 52%

“Death Warrant” – Audience Score: 35%

Note: Since these films are older, there wasn’t any ‘critic’ consensus.

Who has the edge? “Tango and Cash”

 


Round 5 – Legacy

“Tango and Cash”

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Headline is in the newspaper! It’s got to be real!

Gabriel Cash: You don’t know anything about electricity, do you?

Ray Tango: No.

Gabriel Cash: As long as you’re only touching one wire and you’re not touching the ground, you don’t get electrocuted.

[Thinks about it for a moment]

Gabriel Cash: Um, right?

Ray Tango: I don’t know.

Gabriel Cash: I don’t either.

Are one-liners (well, successful ones) the key to a film’s legacy? You bet! Well, they are one of the keys! This has a bunch of them. Not just that but it is a man’s action movie. It wasn’t courting to any other demographic at all and that’s why it shines. That strange, synth induced music by Harold Faltermeyer also helps this stand out. Not just that, I wouldn’t mind re-watching this movie. It’s fun to watch and can easily serve as something to play in the background with friends over.

 

“Death Warrant”

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Van Damme flexing…again…after a super kick.

Christian ‘The Sandman’ Naylor: Welcome to Hell! 

Chalk this up to something you’d watch when you can’t fall asleep or during your Sunday Morning Hangover ritual. Van Damme plays a bad ass as he tries to weed out criminal activity within a large population of criminals. Not just that, he’s gotta put up with everyone’s violent nature and survive. Also, I gotta say, the Sandman is a cool villain but he’s so gosh darn one-dimensional that when you think about it, you might say “huh, well, he just really wants to kill Van Damme and remind him that he can’t be killed while doing it”. I’m getting sidetracked. Perhaps I’m fonder of the fight scenes than everything else that was in this more serious film.

I know why these ‘types’ of movies went away – movies kept getting bigger and bigger and when studios have a lot of money involved they want to make sure they get the most ‘bang’ for their buck. You can also add that the ‘PC Police’ will shame you if something comes across even subliminally offensive. I seriously would not mind an action movie in the vein of the late 1980s/early 1990s. No, “The Expendables” doesn’t count. Stallone is tapping only into what stars made those movies great and not the kinds of movies that were back then.

Who has the edge? “Tango and Cash”. Why? Read above!

 

Overall Win: “Tango and Cash”  

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Ray Tango: Rambo? Rambo’s a p*ssy. 

 

“Death Warrant” gets FUBAR’d!!! 

 

 

Cinematic Showdown: “Street Fighter” v “Mortal Kombat” : Dawn of Unnecessary Video Game Adaptations

It’s Van Damme and company versus Christopher Lambert and his ‘warriors’ in this edition of Cinematic Showdown. It was the 1990s and video game adaptations were just starting to take off (not really) with “Super Mario Bros.” (a movie hate crime), “Double Dragon” (please stop), and “Wing Commander” (nope). Suffice it to say; what is arguably the most seen of these adaptations were “Mortal Kombat” and “Street Fighter”. Both of these are based off wildly successful video game series (duh!) and both had adaptations that came out within a year of each other. With these similarities, I thought it fitting to throw these two in the ring with each other. 

 

Notes:

“Mortal Kombat” was directed by Paul W.S. Anderson, who later went on to annoy you with the “Resident Evil” films. Certainly not to ever be confused with prolific director, Paul Thomas Anderson (“Boogie Nights”, “There Will Be Blood”).

“Street Fighter” was directed by Steven E. de Souza. He hasn’t done anything high profile since ‘Fighter’. This is probably for good reason.

Factors to consider in this showdown:

1.Story – How well are these characters brought to life? Is the movie engaging?

2.Performances – This aspect sticks out the most. We have the talents of Robin Shou (also known for “Beverly Hills Ninja”), Bridgette Wilson (before she was Mrs. Pete Sampras), Christopher Lambert (the “Highlander”), and Jean Claude Van Damme (who is arguably one of the biggest martials arts stars in the world). I hope you know I’m being sarcastic! I wouldn’t call any of these actors ‘real actors’.

3.Fight Choreography – This is a unique category that is obviously a big part of both of these movies.

4.Box Office – How much money did these movies make?

5.Rotten Tomatoes – aggregator website that statistically creates a consensus amongst other known critics.

6.Legacy – How is the film viewed today? Is it remembered fondly?


 

1.Story

vlcsnap-2013-05-30-20h11m48s56“Mortal Kombat” 

It begins very serious (with Liu Kang having a nightmare – Shang Tsung killing his brother, Chan, for some unknown reason) and then deviates (and quickly) into sheer out there land. It is fitting since these stupid warriors are being recruited by Thunder God, Raiden (a laughing Christopher Lambert), to some alternate dimension (called Outworld) in a fight to the death competition called (you guessed it) ‘Mortal Kombat’. 

These warriors (Kang, Cage, and Sonya) all really joined the tournament because they seek revenge or, in Johnny Cage’s case, seek to show the public that he’s not just some action movie star but can kick a$$ off screen. The Cage subplot doesn’t make sense either as the entire tournament is not taking place on Earth, where no one can be witness to his ‘feats’ or his splits/balls punch to Goro. 

 

Trivia: Van Damme was the inspiration for Johnny Cage in the “Mortal Kombat” video game ironically.

I still don’t know the rationale behind having Raiden on screen but not fighting. I mean, he’s one of the gods but also an inter-dimensional recruiter of some kind? Okay, I’ll relax. It’s just a video game movie. ‘A’ doesn’t always have to equal ‘B’. Ok, so in the end everyone gets redeemed and the Earth is saved, well, until Shao Kahn appears stating he wants everyone’s souls or something. The story was run of the mill but it was gratifying and fun to watch. My personal favorite was the Liu Kang and Reptile fight.

peliculas-videojuegos-capcom“Street Fighter”

Whereas “Mortal Kombat” may have been a predictable film, “Street Fighter” was a roundabout mess. In it, you have obscure characters briefly appearing in the film (Dee Jay, Zangief, Dhalsim) to one of the worst performances to go ‘out on’ – referring to Raul Julia’s General M. Bison (this was Julia’s last film). The plot surrounds how two forces are at war with one another in a Southeast Asian city (Shadaloo City) – Dictator Bison versus the Allied Nations (a multinational military) led by Colonel Guile (Jean Claude Van Damme). Bison requests that the Allied Nations must divvy up $20 billion or he will kill off hostages. This doesn’t bode well with Guile. 

Meanwhile, two con artists, Ryu (Byron Mann) and Ken (Damian Chapa) try to swindle criminals Sagat (Wes Studi) and Vega (Jay Tavare) but are eventually captured by Guile and his men. Guile recruits them to help find Bison in exchange for their freedom or something.  They all end up staging the death of Guile to throw off everyone. Then there’s the other subplot with Chun-Li and her TV broadcasting friends – Balrog and E. Honda wanting revenge against Bison and Sagat but this idea is tossed aside when Guile and his men assault Bison’s base and everyone gets to fight each other. In the end, Guile’s best friend, Blanka, ended up a Frankenstein monster (which was created by Dhalsim (Roshan Seth)), Ryu and Ken redeem themselves, the hostages are safe, and Guile bests Bison. It all ended abruptly with all the fighters striking poses from “Street Fighter II”. 

Who has the edge? “Mortal Kombat”. Not even close here. With an actual coherent storyline, ‘Kombat’ uppercuts “Street Fighter”.

 


2.Performances

mk04“Mortal Kombat”

There are a lot of ‘over the top’ performances in this gem, especially Christopher Lambert, who would rather laugh at his own jokes and impart (what he calls) wisdom on his recruits. Boy, let me tell you though, the performances are all a lot of fun. The movies big bad, Shang Tsung (Cary Tagawa), is written to strictly utter quick, albeit effective one-liners like — “Flawless Victory”, “Your soul is mine!” or “Finish Him!”. From a fan of the video games, this is easy to revel in. 

“Street Fighter”

Never give Van Damme a speech in a movie. My goodness! He was supposed to ‘rally’ his troops in a ‘pivotal’ scene of the film. He is almost completely indiscernible due to his strangely thicker than normal accent. Now, if you research a little bit about the production of this film, you’ll find out that Van Damme was going through a divorce and abusing the sh*t out of cocaine. There have been known production problems and many cast members were essentially put on hold between breaks while filming in Thailand (and many were enjoying the country’s prostitutes when they weren’t filming). Even the casting budget, outside of Raul Julia and JCVD, only left so much for the rest of the cast (this explains the lack of star power, especially with the most popular characters of the video game series – Ryu and Ken).

Who has the edge? “Mortal Kombat”. The reason rests with the fact that even though the performances weren’t that believable, you can at least tell that everyone was having a good time. Also, Christopher Lambert is the best worst actor (whenever he speaks English that is).


 

3.Fight Choreography

“Mortal Kombat”

No one is especially impressive here except Robin Shou, who is an actual martial artist. This is likely why he is featured in more than one fight in the film. However, when you couple the fight scenes with incredible, upbeat music and elaborate (enough) sets and the fight scenes are more impressive than what they really are. Heck, nothing can really beat that “Mortal Kombat” soundtrack.

sf30“Street Fighter”

Benny “the Jet”Urquidez was actually hired to physically train the actors. The Jet is actually a karate champion in his own right. Of course, you have the European Kickboxing Champion and action superstar, Van Damme headlining the film. Although Van Damme may not be able to act (at all), he more than makes up for it in his physicality, athleticism, and screen presence. 

Who has the edge? “Street Fighter” actually has more credibility in this arena but certainly doesn’t look as cool without a killer soundtrack to back up action sequences like ‘Kombat’ does.


 

4. Box Office

“Mortal Kombat” – Production Budget: $18 million  (Source: IMDb); Worldwide Take: $122,195,920 (Source: Box Office Mojo)

“Street Fighter” – Production Budget: $35 million ; Worldwide Take: $99,423,521 (Source: Box Office Mojo)

Who has the edge? “Mortal Kombat” bicycle kicks “Street Fighter” to easily being the more profitable film.

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5.Rotten Tomatoes Scores

“Mortal Kombat” – 33% Most thought the film had subpar acting and laughable dialogue. (Couldn’t agree more!)

“Street Fighter” – 12% Most critics blamed the campiness and uneven story line. 

Who has the edge? “Mortal Kombat”. Geez, those are both some rotten scores. Do these critics know they are watching movies that aren’t meant to be taken ‘that’ seriously?

 

The WIN: “Mortal Kombat”. That was almost a ‘Flawless Victory’!

mk22I look back on “Mortal Kombat” and smile. It still remains a really fun movie. You’d probably have to pay me to rewatch the disasterpiece that is “Street Fighter” though. What a wasted opportunity. To many, ‘Kombat’ is the best video game film adaptation we have had thus far (yes, even over “Resident Evil”). Will the upcoming “Warcraft” film (debuting June 10th), based off of the “World of Warcraft” online games, be able to take the throne? I remain skeptical. I just hope they have another “Mortal Kombat” film that’ll feature more fatalities, animalities (you transform into your spirit animal and kill your opponent) and babalities (opponents are transformed into babies).

 

 

Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films – Review

Do you remember watching all those ridiculous movies when you were a kid that included Bloodsport, Masters of the Universe and Missing in Action? Well, there’s a film company responsible for the films that you loved (but when looking back were without much coherence or reasonable plot). This is the story of how two, highly enthusiastic cousins took Hollywood by the balls and forced audiences to watch their low budgeted, star studded films that lacked and/or defied logic.

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A movie about terrorists invading USA and committing all sorts of violence.

Two Israeli born filmmakers (Menahem Golan & Yoram Globus) made it big in their home country with a movie they produced called Lemon Popsicle (1978). The movie (directed by Boaz Davidson), which is about how teenage boys attempt to lose their virginity, was seen by 40% of the Israeli population. With such success, Golan and Globus wanted to make it big and compete with the big studios in Hollywood – Warner Bros., Disney, Universal, etc.  That brings us to Cannon Films.

Cannon Films actually began as a company in 1967 that focused on low budget, English language versions of Swedish soft porn films and bigger production films such as Joe, with Peter Boyle. Eventually, the company ran out of capital and in 1979 the company was sold to Golan and Globus for $500,000.

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A logo you’ll likely recognize.

Globus and Golan’s business model was to buy unwanted scripts and put them into production. This started the low budgeted, action films of the 1980s that we all likely know. Their movies helped catapult Chuck Norris to stardom with Missing in Action (its sequels/prequels), Delta Force (and its sequels), and Invasion U.S.A. Let us not forget about the ninja films they would produce that included such ‘hits’ as American Ninja and Ninja 3: The Domination. They even produced Death Wish II, Death Wish III, and Death Wish IV. Their films also delved in a variety of genres including the very successful dance film, Breakin’. For a complete listing of all of Cannon’s films click here.

"Breakin'" movie screenshot. Notice Van Damme in the background.
“Breakin'” movie screenshot. Notice Van Damme in the background.

After a while, Cannon films became known as a company that would get anything made but would make sure they kept their costs as low as possible. Even with their bigger budgeted films that they secured the rights for were still bottom barrel movies. The prime example of this would be Superman IV: Quest for Peace. In that outing, the special effects actually looked much worse than the original and with a story that no one really cared about. They even casted an ex-Chippendale’s stripper as the movie’s villain and somehow managed to get Gene Hackman as well!  I could write all day about how inept Superman IV was but this article is geared to the documentary.

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Van Damme’s break out in “Bloodsport”.

Believe it or not, Cannon’s films were more popular in the UK which led them to purchase a lot of the cinema chains there. There was also a partnership that was struck with MGM at one point in time which would help Cannon distribute their undesirable movies.  There are many ridiculous stories of how Golan and Globus ‘made it’ in Hollywood (so to speak). The documentary chronicles this with interviews from some well-known stars and their experiences working with Golan and Globus.

So, the main reason the company went belly up was because they were producing so many films without regard to how they were performing. The producers even had a hard time remembering which films they actually had in production and before you knew it they were taken over by Pathe Communications, which also bailed them out at a price tag of $250 million. The restructuring actually split the cousins, with Globus staying at Cannon Films (until its end in 1994) and Golan starting his own production company – 21st Century Film Corporation, which was responsible for that terrible Captain America movie that came out in 1990.

A likable movie yet you have to admit "Masters of the Universe" was bonkers.
A likable movie yet you have to admit “Masters of the Universe” was bonkers.

This Australian documentary comes with a bunch of interesting (mostly absurd) stories to how some familiar movies came to fruition.  The film is written and directed by Mark Hartley, produced by Brett Ratner and holds a 95% on Rotten Tomatoes. The documentary can now be seen on Netflix. I highly suggest this documentary if you were into (or still into) the 1980s/1990s actions movies that included Chuck Norris and Jean Claude Van Damme.

Grade: A-

Note: There was actually a competing documentary (released four months later) called The Go-Go Boys: The Inside Story of Cannon Films, that premiered at the 2014 Cannes Film Festival and was met with mixed reviews and focused on how the Israeli filmmakers tried to grasp the American dream.

June Movie DvD/Blu-Ray Releases!!!

June 2nd, 2015

Focus-2

Focus – More like out of focus! Ok, that was lame. I’m not really a huge fan of Will Smith but you can sign me up for Margot Robbie anytime! The film opened to mixed reviews. It’s about conning people and the like. The story reminds me of the brilliant Grifters with Faye Dunaway and John Cusack. I’ll likely rent this.

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Jupiter Ascending –Imagine someone taking a dump while staring directly into your eyes the entire time. This movie is exactly that. This has the hammiest of acting and a silly story. The special effects are excellent though. It’s this year’s shiniest of turds. Directed by the Wachowski siblings and starred by Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis.

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McFarland USA – A sports drama about a track team. Kevin Costner stars as a coach that whips a bunch of Latinos into shape!

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SpongeBob Squarepants 2: Sponge Out of Water – This movie made a good amount of change at the box office. I wouldn’t be surprised if another was released.

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Monsters: Dark Continent – The sequel to acclaimed Gareth Edwards movie, Monsters. In this story, it follows a group of soldiers fighting the continued alien dominance on Earth.

June 9th, 2015

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Kingsman: The Secret Service – In this fun spy thriller, a young man (Taron Egerton) must rise to the occasion of being a Kingsman, a super spy. Colin Firth shines as the mentor and a lisp-y Samuel L. Jackson rounds out the cast as the villain.

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The DUFF – This is about a girl(Mae Whitman) that hopes her last year in high school is more promising until she finds out that she’s ….wait for it……………the Designated, Ugly, Fat, Friend. She’s determined to change the social structure of her high school with the help of the dude that plays Firestorm on The Flash, Robbie Amell.

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Project Almanac – It’s a time travel movie but with teenagers that have to go back and make things right. Meh…

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Serena – Yet another movie with Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence! They’ve got to be the Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan pairing of modern times. This time the movie examines a couple’s marriage problems in Depression Era North Carolina.

June 16th, 2015

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Chappie – Neill Blomkamp attempts to make a movie in the same vein as his debut, District 9. Reviews were not kind to this film. Well, it’s mostly mixed. Hugh Jackman and Dev Patel co-star in the once anticipated film. Many are looking forward to Blomkamp’s upcoming Alien movie.

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Run All Night – In trying to replicate his Taken success, Liam Neeson continues to make action-y revenge-ish movies. If you look at the box office numbers, people are finally beginning to get tired of this ‘Liam Neeson’ genre movie. I will say that somehow this film has a great cast that includes the super talented Joel Kinnaman and bad a$$, Ed Harris.

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The Lazarus Effect – A scientific experiment leaves Olivia Wilde dead. Mark Duplass and company manage to bring her back but with terrifying results. This wasn’t the best reviewed movie. I’d likely catch this as a late night renter or if it comes to Netflix instant.

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Unfinished Business – I hope that once the 2nd season of True Detective begins that we’ll all forget about this Vince Vaughan led movie. Somehow Tom Wilkinson and Dave Franco co-star in this.

Beyond the Reach-2Beyond the Reach – This thriller is about a rich dude and a poacher who set out on a hunting trip. The poacher ends up killing another dude and sets up a wild goose chase in the Mojave Desert. Michael Douglas and Jeremy Irvine star.

Playing it Cool-2

Playing it Cool – A romantic comedy with Chris Evans and Michelle Monaghan! I believe this was in a very limited theatrical release (for a good reason). Evans stars as a dude who doesn’t believe in love that tries to win over an engaged girl (Monaghan).

June 23, 2015

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Pound of Flesh – Van Damme stars in a movie doing martial arts!! This time around, some idiots steal one of his kidneys and he goes on revenge mode to retrieve it so he can donate it to his niece.

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Survivor – In a film by James McTeigue (Ninja and V for Vendetta), the film follows an agent from the US State Department who must prevent a massive terrorist attack. The film stars Milla Jovovich and Pierce Brosnan.

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The Forger – John Travolta does a Boston accent! I only want to see the movie because of this. He plays a forger who must commit one last heist, while trying to be there for his sick son.

June 30th, 2015

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Get Hard – Will Ferrell is sentenced to hard time for a crime he didn’t commit but he must ‘get hard’ with the help from Kevin Hart. If you like recognizable comedians in a formulaic comedy, then this one’s for you!

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The Gunman – What happens when you ask Sean Penn to do his best Liam Neeson impression? This movie, which tanked at the box office. It does feature a great cast though – Javier “Call it” Bardem, Ray Winstone and was directed by Taken’s Pierre Morel.

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While We’re Young – Ben Stiller and Naomi Watts get their lives turned upside when they become friends with a much younger couple played by Adam Driver and Amanda “Butter Face” Seyfried.

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Danny Collins – Al Pacino plays an aging musician (like he could play a young musician!) that upon realizing a letter written by John Lennon to him, decides to turn his life around. The movie also features Jennifer “Affleck” Garner and Michael “you’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off” Caine.

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The Last Knights – What happened to Clive Owen?! Ever since Children of Men, he’s been kind of off the radar. He recently had Blood Ties in 2013 but that had a short theatrical release. Anyways, he stars in this revenge film alongside Morgan “God” Freeman.

The Best Martial Arts Movies

Kicking a$$ and taking names! Who doesn’t love a good martial arts movie? There’s a bunch to choose from! Hopefully this article will prompt you to seek out these gems. I would do a top 10 but that’s too round of a number. On to the Top 9!!

Best of the Best (1989)
Best of the Best (1989)

9. Best of the Best (1989)

I think the best way to describe this movie would be to say it’s like “Bloodsport” meets “Road House”. The martial arts sequences were solid but the staging of the fights is what makes this outshine a lot of other martial arts movies. USA is being pitted against Korea in a what would seem like a life and death tournament (it’s not). Eric Roberts hilariously over acts in almost every scene and James Earl Jones makes it rain with his one of a kind voice.

The Matrix (1999)
The Matrix (1999)

8. The Matrix (1999)

You can’t deny this movie. With choreographer, Yuen Woo-ping, he can make any actor look like a legitimate martial artist. That’s not to say that the actors didn’t train hard to accomplish authentic fight scenes, it’s just the truth. On screen, the fight sequences are gripping and are used to enhance the provocative sci-fi/action/martial arts classic. The subway fight scene is easily one of the most watched fight scenes.

Drunken Master (1978)
Drunken Master (1978)

7. Drunken Master (1978)

To me, this is ‘the’ best Jackie Chan movie. It perfectly embodies Jackie’s sense of humor, his amazing stunt work and his great fighting skills. The story is simple — Jackie takes up tutelage by a dude that embraces the martial art of getting wasted and kicking the shit out of people. Every fan of Jackie’s work needs to make sure to see this.

Ip Man (2008)
Ip Man (2008)

6. Ip Man (2008)

Donnie Yen really shines as Ip Man, the first person to teach Wing Chun. Ip Man actually went on to later teach a young Bruce Lee. Filled with action sequences as Yip Man showcases his martial art and maintains many students but that’s before the Japanese invade his country and force many of the citizens to hard labor and try to force Ip Man to teach his martial art.

Hero (2002)
Hero (2002)

5. Hero (2002)

Jet Li stars in this beautiful martial arts film that makes you question if “Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon” deserves all the praise it received. The story is set with the backdrop of China and its warring seven kingdoms and how the king, Qin, was determined to become emperor of China, even going as much to ensure that those that protect him will be wealthy and powerful. Jet Li stars as Nameless, an assassin who looks to have done the bidding of a tyrant in this beautifully shot, perfectly choreographed martial arts drama.

Enter the Dragon (1973)
Enter the Dragon (1973)

4. Enter the Dragon (1973)

Certainly not the greatest movie but when it comes to all out Bruce Lee action this one certainly is the one most people refer to and for good reason. This is the movie that introduced Bruce Lee to American audiences (if you don’t count “The Green Hornet” TV series) as a star. Teamed with John Saxon (A Nightmare on Elm Street), Jim Kelly, and even Bolo Yeung (Chun-Li from Bloodsport), Bruce Lee infiltrates a martial arts tournament in order to take down a narcotics dealer who is also responsible for the death of his sister. Cheesy fun, totally 70s and filled with great displays of martial arts.

3. Bloodsport (1988)

This is what made Jean Claude Van Damme the muscles from Brussels. A simple enough concept — man enters fight to the death tournament in order to honor his sensei. What makes this so great is not just JCVD’s splits or his martial arts skills but also his screen presence. You either have it or you don’t. JCVD has this in spades and he can’t really even act!! And what about that epic scream in the final fight? Just amazing. This concept would go on to serve many of JCVD’s other movies.

2. Ong Bak : Muay Thai Warrior (2003)

This may be at the top of many fans’ lists as everyone was taken aback by Tony Jaa and his amazing skills. The story follows how a many tries to seek out a stolen statue so that villagers can end a draught. Yeah, it sure does sound stupid but who are we kidding, we’re in this to watch the action dammit! Jaa simply has to be seen to be believed. Also, the music by RZA is of special note to this being amazing. Regarding Tony Jaa, he simply has to be seen to be believed. He was once considered to be the next Bruce Lee at one point and time but rumors suggest he had a nervous breakdown. He is trying to make a comeback as of late with his small role in “Furious 7”.

1. The Raid 2 (2014)

Easily the best martial arts movie I’ve ever seen. There was an immense amount of choreography that was required for this movie. You will literally be floored by how good this is. Although this is a sequel, it is superior in every way to its predecessor, The Raid: Redemption. These are movies out of Indonesia and are filmed in such a way that perfectly captures the tone and stakes of its story. Just check out this fight scene for crying out loud. This was just one of the many action sequences and it gets even crazier than this!

Action Heroes in the 21st Century

Happy Easter!!! In celebration, I thought I’d rant about action heroes in cinema!

The action hero has been embedded in the Hollywood paradigm since the 1950s with John Wayne, Steve McQueen and Clint Eastwood in the 1960s/1970s, and Steven Seagal, Jean Claude Van Damme, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Jackie Chan in the 1980s/1990s. Action heroes of the 1980s and onward defined a lot of careers but the idea of the action hero has since changed. If I had to mark a year in which the change happened I would have to say 1996 or 1997. In these years, we saw the movies “Mission Impossible”, “Face/Off”, and “The Rock”. What separates these movies from action movies of the past? Focus on storytelling and acting.

mission-2
Mission Impossible

Do you remember the first time you saw “Face/Off”? I’m not talking about the plausibility of switching faces but the emphasis on the consequences of living another life as your mortal enemy. A serious action movie with heavy elements of drama proved to be more effective. Let’s be honest, Stallone and Schwarzenegger in the same movie instead of Travolta and Cage would be a disaster. They simply do not have the acting prowess.

Face Off
Face Off

So, during these two years(1996/1997) we saw the careers of JCVD, Stallone, and Schwarzenegger slow down and a different formula was introduced. It’s funny as it was JCVD who helped introduce the director, John Woo, to American audiences with “Hard Target” and it would be to his detriment as Woo would later make the movies “Face/Off”, “Mission Impossible 2” and “Broken Arrow”. In the same two year period Stallone came out with “Daylight”, JCVD came out with “Double Team” with Dennis Rodman of all people, and Schwarzenegger was pushing out “Eraser” and “Batman and Robin”. Today, you simply cannot think of these guys and not think of the stereotypical action hero that dominated the 1980s and early 1990s.

Double Team
Double Team

What helped bury the idea of the 1980s action hero came in the form of superhero movies (X-Men, Spider-Man, Batman Begins) and the ‘smart action movie’ in the 2000s — “Bourne Identity” series, neo James Bond — “Casino Royale” and “Kill Bill”. I’m not including “The Fast and the Furious” franchise for obvious reasons but I’ll get back to that. So now superheroes are everywhere and ‘real actors’ are being more relied upon to take up mantles as action heroes(even though they don’t nearly have the physical presence that our 1980s action stars had). And look, the only reason the “Expendables” movies are doing so well (minus the last one) is because they are grouping all of these action stars of old and putting them in the same movie and even pitting them against each other in what most fans of that era want most. Stallone knew that the old formula would never work unless he was ambitious enough to actually get everyone to come together, thereby creating a mass appeal. I should also mention that once Stallone did a couple of 1980s-esque movies after “Expendables” like “Bullet to the Head” and “Escape Plan” they were box office flops.

This brings us back to “The Fast and the Furious”. Outside of the idea to ‘rebrand’ themselves after the fourth installment, the series caters to so many groups of people — car racing, action sequences and epic smack downs. Add this with the very diverse cast and you have a global box office powerhouse. This is even more the case with the crazy $$ that it’s pulling in. Review of “Furious 7” is here. 

the-transporter-earned-jason-statham-a-free-audi-a8-1523_1
Transporter

Today, many of the action heroes of old are just trying to retread their earlier, successful works and with enough fans of the originals, a remake or sequel may work at the box office. Examples of this include “Terminator Genisys”, “Bloodsport” and “Kickboxer” remakes, and a sequel/spin off to “Rocky” with “Creed” (focusing in on how Balboa trains Apollo’s son to fight). What is likely the only action stars to consistently be putting out action movies would likely be Jason Statham or Tom Cruise. Say what you want about Tom Cruise, he makes great action and sci-fi movies and the “Mission Impossible” series has become ridiculously successful for a reason. No, Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson doesn’t count as he usually plays a supporting role in bigger movies, not necessarily headlining them.

Bloodsport
Bloodsport

But why did the action hero formula change since the 1980s with the almost unstoppable stars racking a body count in the hundreds? It was simply over done. The market became too crowded and you can only tell a similar story so many times. Now I’m not trying to take away from the movies that came out during this period as some of them went on to become classics — “Bloodsport”, “Predator”, “T2”,  “First Blood” or “Total Recall”.

Even with other global players in the film industry — namely China, bigger movies will cater to global audiences and a story about a one man army that plows through thousands of men with a machine gun will be a distant memory. You need an example of this already happening? Look at “Avengers”, the newer “Godzilla”, “Fast and the Furious” series, etc.

rambo-first-blood-forest-knife-2
First Blood

So, the ultimate action star has died but what has taken its place are stories worth telling with actors that can act. We are getting better action movies because of this but we can always look back at action heroes of the past with a certain fondness that will forever be embedded in Hollywood’s history.

Predator
Predator