The guy hasn’t exactly been a box office draw in over a decade yet his mark on action cinema cannot be ignored. I believe it safe to say that Arnie is done doing great action movies. The key word there is action. You may say, “but wait, what about The Expendables and Terminator: Genisys”? Those movies are crap. I’m talking about Arnie going all out and kicking a$$. Can you really imagine anyone else playing The Terminator? Conan (they tried in 2011 and failed) or Douglas Quaid – Total Recall (they tried in 2012 and failed)?
Not only was Arnie a physical presence but he also has charisma. It’s the fine balancing mechanism when determining if he’s a movie star. Sure, he can’t act but he’s got screen presence. That Austrian accent delivered with peculiar one-liners encompasses most all of his movies from the 1980s and 1990s.
With that being said, I felt it important to review those movies that make Arnold Schwarzenegger a household name. I will also include those movies that may not be the best but are memorable for wrong reasons. Hey, nobody’s perfect.
12. Batman & Robin
“What killed the dinosaurs?! Da Ice Age!” – Mr. Freeze
This is a movie I love to hate. So I guess this counts as one of his best? For reasons unknown, Arnie took up the role as one of Batman’s villains, Mr. Freeze, in this 1997 movie. Okay, we do know the reason. He was paid $17 million which is one of his biggest upfront paydays (outside of Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines — $30 million). If you wanna get crazy, Arnie and Danny Devito (and director Ivan Reitman) took no upfront payment for Twins and optioned to own 45% of the film which resulted in them making $35-$40 million each! I’m getting off track here. Arnie hammed it up (big time) to play a villain that must keep himself in a cryogenic suit to survive while also trying to save his terminally ill wife. As a kid, you don’t realize the stupidity of the movie or the very nature of the former Mr. Olympia playing super villain and wearing a ridiculous outfit to be anything out of the ordinary. If you just look at the list of quotes from him, you’d get a good chuckle. Check it out here. Even though the movie was critically slammed (Rotten Tomatoes: 11%), the movie went on to make $238 million worldwide (off a $125 million budget). Although there was a profit, it is likely that the money spent for marketing put them close to just breaking even. We wouldn’t see a new Batman movie until 2005 in Batman Begins.
11. Kindergarten Cop
“It’s not a tumor!” – Detective John Kimble
“I’m a cop, you idiot!” – Detective John Kimble
I mentioned that this was getting a sequel (w/ Dolph Lundgren) right? Check here for more on that. In a fish out of water-esque tale, Arnie is forced to pretend to be a kindergarten teacher in order to capture a drug dealer. Juggling a bunch of rowdy kids is the last thing Arnie wants to do but, somehow, ends up disciplining them into role model students. The one-liners don’t just come from its star this time around, but also the kids.
10. The Running Man
“Hello cutie pie, one of us is in deep trouble”. – Ben Richards
This was before Battle Royale and The Hunger Games. The premise of this movie is extremely similar: a totalitarian state where a televised competition thrusts prisoners into an area where they must run to avoid a gruesome death. Arnie’s character has been made a scapegoat by his own government and forced to compete. The story actually comes from the book by Stephen King and features some ridiculous villains (including Jesse Ventura) and some of the worst one-liners. The film is a lot more relevant today as society continues to offer high stakes entertainment so that we may all turn a blind eye to real issues.
9. The Terminator
“I’ll be back” – Terminator
Arnie plays an actual terminator (from the future) and must kill Sarah Connor to prevent the human resistance against the robots. Things get complicated when the humans (from the future) send one of their own to help protect Sarah. This is a sci-fi action film with solid performances, excellent action sequences, and an intriguing storyline that would serve as a basis for its sequels.
8. Commando
“I eat green berets for breakfast!” – John Matrix
(Not Going Commando)John Matrix (Arnie) launches a one man war against the South American criminals that kidnapped his daughter. Being a former Black Ops commando, the criminals have no idea what they’re in for. This features a flabby, Freddie Mercury type villain (Vernon Wells) and an over-the-top performance by Dan Hedaya attempting an accent as the main bad guys. Watch Arnie plow down the villains in this one, and in grand fashion.
7. Twins
The reason Arnie, Devito, and Reitman decided to take back end money, was because the studio wasn’t sure if the movie would be a success. Obviously, they are all better off now. The movie works because the idea behind Devito and Arnie actually being brothers is absurd (said Mr. Obvious). It’s not just that though. The movie was more accessible to general audiences in that there was appeal on the action front and appeal from a comedic perspective. Not only are these brothers polar opposites physically but they also couldn’t be more different in terms of emotional and mental stability. Whereas Devito dealt with foster homes and ended up more of a con artist, Arnie grows up to be humble and smart despite being naïve to the real world. As Arnie tries to convince Devito that they’re brothers (much to Devito’s chagrin), the two end up learning from each other. The film was a welcome departure for Arnie at the time as he was coming off Conan the Barbarian and Predator.
6. Conan the Barbarian
This is one of the more simplistic story lines but manages to still be epic. Orphaned as a boy, Conan is forced to push the ‘wheel of pain’ as his village was left destroyed by Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones). After many years of building a huge, muscular frame, Conan sets out to confront Thulsa and the supernatural forces that surround him. Tons of gruesome fight scenes and cool swordplay. Arnie doesn’t have much dialogue, but Conan has always been more of the strong, silent type. The movie was turned into the cheesy sequel, Conan the Destroyer, which featured a bigger production, a weaker storyline, and Kareem Abdul Jabbar as one of the villains (oh, and Grace Jones).
5. True Lies
To me, this was the last great movie Arnie has done. After the giant success of T2: Judgment Day, James Cameron and Arnie teamed up again. Thought to be a dull salesman by his family, Harry (Arnie) is actually a super spy that is after nuclear weapons held by terrorists. Things become complicated when Harry begins to realize that his wife (Jamie Lee Curtis) might be contemplating an affair with a car salesman pretending to be a spy (Bill Paxton). There are a lot of memorable scenes here — the Jamie Lee Curtis strip tease, the chase after terrorist using a horse, Bill Paxton pretending to suave, etc. I always wondered why Cameron and Schwarzenegger didn’t work together more often. Cameron seemed to focus on different genres (Titanic, Avatar) that relied more on acting and didn’t wholly rely upon the giant presence of Arnie.
4. Last Action Hero
This is one of my personal favorites. Arnie plays a caricature of himself in this ‘before its time’ comedy/action film. Once young Danny loses his father, he becomes entranced by watching action movies featuring Jack Slater (Arnie) as an escape. After being given a magic ticket, Danny is thrust into the movie he’s watching. Understanding film stereotypes, Danny tries to help Slater take down villains, including big bad Benedict (played by Charles Dance). The movie plays with the notion of how people see Arnold Schwarzenegger and the many ‘rules’ that action movies seem to abide by. I have to commend Arnie for taking on a movie like this. It goes to show how he tries to connect with his fans. Totally underrated.
Fun facts: This movie was directed by John McTiernan (Die Hard, Predator) and written by Shane Black (Lethal Weapon, Iron Man 3).
3. Predator
“Dillon! Youuuuuu son-of-a b*tch!” – Dutch
So many awesome liners in this one as well. Dutch and his mercenary team that includes CIA agent Dillon (Carl Weathers) head to Guatemala to rescue a group of politicians. Things go awry when dead bodies begin to pile up and they realize they are being hunted by a creature with great strength and the ability to cloak itself. McTiernan was such an iconic director! This was made alongside The Hunt for Red October and Die Hard. Great action scenes and a cool looking alien. If you can watch the un-edited version of the movie instead of the one they keep showing on AMC, then do yourself a favor.
Fun Fact: Jean Claude Van Damme was actually the Predator until he complained that the costume was too hot to work in. Filmmakers eventually ended up scraping the initial costume anyway for the one we know today.
2. Total Recall
This is easily one of Arnie’s most profound films. This is much in thanks to Philip K. Dick’s short story, We Can Remember It for You Wholesale, and Paul Verhoeven’s direction. In the year 2084, Arnie is a meandering construction worker who undergoes a procedure to implant a memory in his head of visiting Mars. Things go nuts when Arnie realizes his entire life was a false memory and the people that implanted it want him dead. The movie is ethereal at parts and is heightened by Jerry Goldsmith’s score.
1. Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Of course this classic is on this list. This is easily Arnie’s best role. He plays a robot for crying out loud. One of the most bad ass robots ever! As the first film has Arnie sent back in time to kill Sarah Connor, this time around he was reprogrammed and sent back in time to protect the son of Sarah Connor, John. This is to ensure that there is still a resistance to the robots in the future. This is arguably one of the best sequels ever. Not only did they improve on the original’s special effects, but the story delves deeper into how a terminator functions and the details surrounding the seemingly preventable future. This is in many filmgoers’ top 5 action films of all time and they wouldn’t be wrong.